Saturday, October 3, 2009

Middle Time

It's Saturday but it feels like Sunday since I didn't work yesterday. Speaking of which was a lot of fun with two other gals. I will write more on that as soon as something I want to post finally gets up on youtube.

In the meantime, JH returned from Italy today and I was expecting to see him after his arrival but he felt tired and ill so he went home to rest.

There are days here when you find yourself with nothing to do and the desire to not stay in your house. The complication that on one hand you don't feel comfortable stuffed inside a shoe-box sized house but on the other hand don't know where to go or what to do can often make life irritable.

I thought back and forth on what to do. I could go to Seoul and visit a museum or park. I could go see a movie, but couldn't find any thing worth watching. Staying inside and watching a movie or doing some art would be an option.

I ate some lunch and figured just to go to the local park and do some drawings. Lately I have been enjoying drawing trees. I did that for a while and then listened to a podcast of This American Life.

As I sat there and watched families enjoy the delights of the park, while I listened to my podcast about the current financial meltdown in America, I couldn't help but feel fulfilled in life. I think it was seeing the simplest of things that made me so relaxed and relieved for just sitting and doing practically nothing with my time.

For example, one little girl kept on riding past me. What made this sight interesting was that she was wearing a yellow shirt, red sweatshirt, green pants and the rims of her bicycle were blue. This girl was a moving color palette of the primary colors plus green. At that moment I wished I had a video camera to capture what I felt and saw.

Today's weather made it all more delightful. Fall is creeping in now and the air is cooler with clear blue skies. It felt like holiday time back in America, despite it being October. Since Korea is on a holiday I couldn't help but relish that lack of noise about the town.

Although I had a relaxing time today alone in the park I am reminded of how few very close friends I have. I wish I had a few close friends who would desire to do things with me regularly. I am trying to form this nowadays with new friendships, but these things take time and I don't want to push people.

Having a boyfriend helps be that one special person in your life who can spend time with whenever it is possible. But when he is out of the picture for reasons such as the ones listed today I am left to find possibilities of action on my own.

Yet, I have been doing stuff on my own for a long time and don't really mind being by myself. Just sometimes when you are by yourself in a foreign country the singularity of the situation intensifies.

Still I am grateful that I was able to waste 2 hours sitting at a park by myself, when I am sure there are individuals out there my age with busy and stressed lives with no time for just 10 minutes to themselves.

So in that regard...thank you.

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