As we were dashing out of the classroom today to make it to the dinner party my coteacher informed me that the Principals and all the teachers will gather tomorrow to have a meeting about my renewal.
I took it as good and bad news. Kind of a slap of truth. I didn't know all the teachers would be there. At this point it is all subjective.
So at the dinner party my mood was a tad sour as I thought about how unfair it is for them to talk about me and my performance without first hearing my side of the story. Again this was noticed by my coteacher who may or may not take it with her to the meeting tomorrow. I know that if she feels like she doesn't want to work with me any longer she can push her opinions about me.
I know she is a good person but this is about the workplace and her ideals of what makes the right Native English teacher may not match with her perception of me. I wish I could just explain to her that not knowing the result of my contract renewal decision makes me really anxious and nervous. But we have been so darn busy I haven't been able to tell her this.
Next week is our school's summer camp that I have to teach alongside my coteacher. This weekend I will try my best to just not think about what is going on at the meeting.
In my opinion I feel like I did a good job. I never took a sick day, except for those small times I left work to visit the doctor. I always showed up to work on time. I have worked hard at lesson planning for the advanced class. At times I was a bit robotic and boring during the regular classes but I have recently tried to be more chipper and helpful.
Once again I know it is all subjective and depends on how other people feel. I wasn't the foreigner who gleefully spilled everything about my life and country to every coworker at school. I mostly kept to myself and did my job. If this image is something they have grown to distaste than there is nothing I can do any longer.
For me I only care about staying at this school because it is the easiest option. Instead of finding a new school and facing a new set of conditions staying at my current school means I know what to deal with. Plus I love the kids and know I will miss them. In addition, if I really fix up my attitude I know that I could work really well this coteacher. But if I am told they don't want me to renew then I will join the chopping block gladly.
If they come to the conclusion that they want me to renew then I will demand the housing change. And we will see what happens then.
Meanwhile I have these two summer camps to get through then it is off to California for vacation!
By the way, I discovered today that my umbrella has holes in it, which does not help during monsoon rains.