I want to make the point that although I tend to sugar coat this experience, it doesn't mean I have been sitting around not stressed out or angry by this.
Let me tell you that when you are made to feel powerless it is an awful experience.
Yes I am angry. Yes I don't really understand what is happening. Yes I feel victimized. Yes I feel like a scapegoat. And yes I feel cheated.
*Let me edit this post and add some additional ranting*
I am not a strong person and it has been shown throughout my own personal history that crumble easily in the face of conflict.
I am sensitive. I can be made to cry easily.
I also don't take criticism well.
Had I known that these weaknesses would make this job challenging, perhaps I would have avoided it.
But there is something I want to make clear:
An observation......how I see it:
The hogwan system (private school teaching) is a business here in Korea. It gets their money from satisfied children and their mothers.
The people in charge of these businesses operate from a business perspective. It is their duty to make sure the business is kept up and running.
For some Hogwan owners keeping the business running might mean this:
- If you perceive one of your teachers to be like a weed at your school (making parents complain) you should weed them out.
- If you simply don't like one of your teachers based on reasons such as personality or attitude....then get rid of them.
WARNING TO ANY FUTURE HOGWAN TEACHER:
You are stepping into a school that is run like a business. The management most likely will not care about how you feel.
The management will not consider that you were poorly trained and that is why you are making mistakes over and over again.
The management doesn't give a rats ass about your opinion when you do screw up.
They want you to be their puppet, to do everything perfectly the first time and each time again.
Some will pretend to be your friends but in the end tell you things like "I am depressed and dissapointed with you."
So please if you are chosing to work here in Korea, especially at a hogwan take a close look at these weaknesess of the management. Once screwed by these people there is nothing you can do but get the hell out of the contract.
Understand that although this is how my hogwan operates the other 3 Foreign teachers have survived. So it must be that my supervisors like them and / or they haven't caused so much drama.
KNOW what you are walking into. KNOW the risks.
***END RANT >>>
And so after feeling angry, I come to the conclustion that my only answer to all this is to get away from this hogwan and these people.
I don't fear being sent home to live with Mommy, I fear being sent home and never being allowed to see BK again.
So yes I am angry, I have been after I worked 3 weeks at the place. It has been a battle ever since and still is!
But maybe I am delusional but this doesn't make me want to say Korea sucks. I look at the individuals responsible for these actions (my supervisors) and blame them. I feel it would be futile to try and enlighten them on their ways.
I just want to be kicked out, given my 3o days and receive my release letter so I can get on with my life.