Today our school held our usual monthly meeting. On the agenda "contract renewals." When I saw this I got excited and thought something along the lines of, "If you put down 'yes' as your response, then you folks got the job" was going to be announced. Instead, they just announced that people need to make up their minds by Nov. 8th and someone will be coming to you around next week to talk about the contract.
So it wasn't what I wanted to hear, and of course it got me all nervous. After the meeting I approached the homeroom teacher (the one who speaks English well, and throughout the semester helped us) about this. She said I should be okay and that the homeroom teachers got a survey to answer. But then she started to give me input on a few things. For one the Song teacher (the main homeroom teacher) wasn't too pleased with the Drama Festival performances. This was my first news of hearing this since last week so I said, "Really?" And then she went on how it could have been better. I didn't tell her how it was really difficult teaching a group of kids a huge drama production, considering they kept on changing the movements and gestures. Sigh
The other thing she mentioned was that they are really grateful that I have put a lot of work into lesson plans and materials, but that I could be more loving with the students. Now, I'm not a mean teacher in the class but I have strict rules and stand by them. I've given the kids plenty of love, especially in my lesson plans. I do yell a lot and that could go down a little, but the homeroom teachers told us to yell at them.WTF!!
In all of this I am reminded that no where along the road do the homeroom teachers sit me down and we discuss my weakness and strengths. It's been this way at every school I worked at in Korea and I suppose I am use to it. Yet it still baffles me that if you have an employer and you want them to do specific things or change, then you go to that person and address the issues. In the end, there isn't much I can do about what the homeroom teachers think, as I know it is all based upon predispositions.
So now I am at the point of thinking "Plan B", what will I do if I don't get to renew this contract? I didn't send in a request for FBI fingerprints so if I have to find a new job it will have to be a transfer. I really don't want to have to pack up and move again or try to find a suitable job for next year. The whole thought of being rejected by this school really gets me blue. Makes me think maybe I really have failed as a teacher here in Korea.
I was really sick yesterday and feeling somewhat better today. Trying to find some positive light in all of this...trying.