Back to Work

Yesterday was a full day of learning what it will be like to be the team leader of the 2nd grade, at my school. It wasn't too bad, but of course started out with a hiccup. I arrived about 30 minutes early to rearrange the desks, and got this done. Then as I was heading back from a quick peek into a new teacher meeting there were students sitting in my room. I wasn't sure why, and after standing there for a while and seeing the parents outside I realized they were new students. They needed the level test and that is what they were waiting for.

Alas, I didn't have the level test and so spent the next 15 minutes chasing it down. I got a hold of the paper tests but didn't have the listening promps or answer sheet. Time was wasting so I handed the tests to the students and had them skip the listening till that was ready. I then realized I might have the paperwork somewhere amongst my stuff scattered about the classroom. I found it and all was well, except the testing ate up an hour or so of my morning.

All the while I didn't panic and just carried out the task as if it were a usual thing. After this was done I met up with my new team of foreign teachers and quickly said hello and had them get things ready in their room, while I did the same. Later we went out to lunch together and I filled them in about the procedures at school and answered their questions.

Unfortunately, we didn't really get to know our Korean homeroom teachers as they were busy with their own duties. I however managed to meet with the one homeroom teacher who will be my "go-to" person for the grade. She is very nice and seems use to communicating with us foreign folk. Also the head teacher of the grade (the Song teacher) is a guy and speaks English himself. I'm glad the head teacher is a guy as I am more comfortable around Korean men than older Korean women. Anyways, the general outlook of the 2nd grade Korean staff look very nice and communicative. One strange thing is that one of the homeroom teachers is also the school's new Vice Principal, who is a nice lady but also has that serious face about her. I'm going on that she will be too busy to really be much in the way.

Surprisingly, we are starting classes Monday and so that means my lesson planning is going to go into effect. I don't mind, just would have liked more time to ready the room and supplies. Ah well, what can you do?

A lot of paperwork this year and already I think I have to get started on it this weekend. Overall, though I walked away yesterday with a good feeling about this term. I just hope things calm down and get into a routine so it won't feel so overwhelming.

Landed

My flight to SFO was quickened down to 9hrs because of strong jet streams along the way. I managed to get some shut eye on the plane. What also made it great was the middle seat was empty and the aisle seat was taken by a nice Berkeley guy who shared in the wonders of that city.

I'm currently at my hotel and waking up out of a 4 hour nap in a cozy Queen size bed. Not much is nearby this place, except if I wanted to walk several blocks. I don't feel like doing that so I'm going to order salad and pizza. I fly out tomorrow to catch a plane to Florida. I can't wait! A huge reunion.

Usually when I come back to America from abroad I feel really nostalgic on the first day. I kind of felt this way at the airport and ride over to the hotel. I admired the license plates and variety of cars and colors.

But this time I just feel sleepy and hungry. I think things will perk up more as time passes. I mostly just feel strange. I love America and being here reminds me I'm not a part of it anymore. So I'm a little sad too.

Anyways, glad to be on my way.

April School Field Trip

Every month the kiddos go on field trips around Seoul, and we foreign teachers don't get left behind. We get the pleasure of going with them on their adventures. Now I say "pleasure" with a light tone here, because spending a full six hours with a large group of first graders starts out well but later ends up differently.

Despite that omen I would say our trip to Children's Grand Park (near Konkuk University) yesterday went pretty well.

The day's events started with a few hours watching a play (in Korean) that was similar to The Sound of Music.

I liked the play and found some of the male actors to be quite good. After the play the kiddos were hungry. I recall this clearly because one girl insisted on reminding me quite often. We headed towards the fountain area of the park, took some pictures then headed to a picnic area.

I was quite impressed with the lunches these kids had packed away. Certainly a lot healthier and more diverse than the ones I recall as a kid. Also I know must of their food tasted good as a lot of the kids handed me pieces of kim bop and fruit.

 Every kid had their own little mat that they unfolded and laid out to sit on. When they saw that I didn't have one they pointed at me and asked, "Why?" I suppose I am going have to gear up for next time.

Lunch was relaxing and filling, which was good since our next activity consisted of going through the zoo at lightning speed. The poor kids had barely enough time to look at the animals. I don't know how they could have anyways, since the park was full of other packs of school kids. At one point I was worried the kids would get mixed up with another group since their uniforms looked the same.

Finally, after our jolt through the zoo we headed back to the buses via the garden scenic route.

Who knows where we are going next time, as they don't tell us till the week before. I am hoping it is some kind of museum where the kids can be more contained, or at least have more time to look at the displays.

Anyways, I definitely know now what it means to go on a field trip in Korea.

Culmination of Challenges

Today I am writing this post but if things go grammatically wrong do forgive me. Work has been culminating into a pool of half good and half bad. The good half are the groups of children that function in the classrooom, and the bad half are the groups of children that are dysfunctional in the classroom. What has ended up happening is that the bad half drains the life out of me and makes me wish I wasn't a teacher.

The good half, on the other hand makes me feel warm inside when a toothless-girl smiles at me and we giggle together. This half makes me believe that I can transform the subject of "Math" and turn it into "Math English." I feel hopeful and full of life!

Yet when I get dragged down by the bad half I wonder what can I do? How can I manage them? How can I make it so that they are so engaged they won't end up being bad. Then I think how futile it is when one kid in the class has some kind of disorder and ends up being a nuisance. Like an infection his "wildness" spreads and distracts me and everyone. Trying to discipline the kid doesn't work well since he doesn't understand me or is just playing a game.

The bad half reminds me that the First grade in general is showing signs of many problems. It makes me wonder why communication is so poor. Makes me wish the Korean homeroom teachers took more action to help us or at least suggest things we could do. I end up feeling resentment and anger towards people I want to respect and have a good relationship with.

Today I am the middle of this whirlpool of self-pity and it feels like I can't get out of it. As much as I say to myself what I will do next time, I know there will always be these challenges. I don't want to care and think too much about it.

These are the challenges that my new job has presented me. Yes, I can say with all honesty that I would rather be here at this school than at my previous jobs (public school). I cling to the hope that I will get use to these situations and know how to handle them better.


I don't know how to end this post. "Finisheee"

The Working Adult Life

Besides my first year in Korea, when I worked at the hagwon, I have never worked so much until now at this job. Because of this I have been busy after work taking care of plans and preparing materials, and my weekends have been spent with work as well. On top of this, ever since I moved in to my new place I have been running around on the weekends picking up stuff for the house and taking care of visa tasks.

I just want one weekend where I explore and do something other than house or work related. However, as much as I whine about how this job is keeping me busy it doesn't compare to JH's work week. The poor guy usually works till 7:30pm or on some days has to drive around Korea. It amazes me that even after a day of hard work he still calls me in a good mood.

But because of his hard week he is often very tired on the weekend, and you can usually find him in the position as seen in the picture above. It's been a little issue in our relationship of how our time is spent on the weekend together. I want to get out and explore but he mostly wants to stay home and rest. We have come to a compromise that not every weekend we will do something active and that we don't have to do everything together.

Tomorrow is Friday and I have to leave work early to get to KEB bank to open an account. Although I still do not have my new Alien card yet, I can use my passport to do this. As I was getting permission for this today I was told I could go there by taxi and then "come back." But of course I don't want to have to come back. I was told we get to leave work early for these kinds of matters just once a month, but it doesn't really say you should "come back." We'll see!

Tom needs my love! Bye

Discovering My "Mean Teacher" Self

When I was told I was given first grade I knew it was going to be hard. But now that I have actually been experiencing it the experience of it is a lot worse than what I imagined. The sum of things is that the morning classes are darling, but the afternoon classes are evil. I attribute it to that they have a lot of energy by the first afternoon class and then are completely drained by the third.

Because of this there have been several classes that fall into the category of "horrible." They lack in the ability to get ready for class, listen to me and generally keep themselves in check. Yes I know they are first graders and their attention span is not as yet developed. But really things can get to a point where I feel like I am losing it.

What has saved me is discovering the "mean teacher" inside myself. This kind of teacher is the one who will yell at the class in a deep and serious tone. It is the person who gets in their small seven year old faces and tells them to sit down and then asks, "Are you going to be a good boy today?" And guess what? It's been working, and the more I use it the better it gets. On top of this I have a management system of a "red" and "yellow" card. Yellow card means you have to stand and then red card means they are taken to their homeroom teacher.  This has been working too.

Well that is work in a nutshell. Still have a lot to prepare and really want to spend a weekend without it being blown away by extra work. Today I am not doing any afterschool homework and instead I am blogging and playing with Tom.

Let's hope I get out there and actually get a chance to use my shiny new camera!

First Day of Classes

2 words:

Stressed

Tired

1 Phrase:

Keep it together.

First Day Tomorrow

Today we finished the level tests and it was again another whirlwind. It was speaking test day and my part was to watch the kids in their classroom while they waited their turn. The morning class did well with the activities I haphazardly put together, but the afternoon class was a complete disaster. Because of this I learned their English skills are pretty high. I don't want to complain about the homeroom teachers, but I would have appreciated more help from the afternoon one. However, if I don't do my part to communicate this than I have my fault areas as well.

Tomorrow starts our first day of full classes, which will be a total of six. Somehow, I managed to organize myself to have a plan in place for the next 3 days of classes. I was going to just use the time for self-introduction, class rules and get-to-know me games but I cut that stuff short to start the book.

Right now I have very little manipulative materials. Such as counting blocks, shape blocks and just anything the kids can put their hands on. I will have to improvise and likely go to the store till our shipment of supplies come in. One thing about working for an elementary school is that they order all the supplies for the first semester at the beginning, so if you need stuff later it's too late. Of course, though we are looking through our books to figure this out.


It's one of those weeks where no matter how much sleep you get it doesn't really count because your brain is fried from the stress.

Anyways...keeping my chin up and hopeful that things will settle down.

New E2 Visa Health Check and Done on a Saturday

It turns out that because the new E2 health checks require the testing for marijuana usage that certain hospitals can't do the check anymore. This was the case for me as a local hospital in my area declined several teachers from my school.

As you know I opted to get the test done on a Saturday and that left me with the big hospitals in Seoul. All in can say is that, yes you can get it done on a Saturday and I recommend you going to the International Health Clinic at Yonsei Severance Hospital near Sinchon and Ehwha.

Preparations:

• Bring your passport.
• Bring two photo id pics (just in case...I didn't hand them in)
• Don't eat for the blood test. (On the phone they said I didn't have to, but I just didn't eat anyways.) (There is a great food court on the same floor as the International Clinic, that has a Kraze burger of all things....so you can grab some grub afterwards)
• If you are a woman don't show up if you are on your period, as it can alter the results of the pee test. 
• Expect to pay 140,000 Won, which is not cheap!
• Show up at 9:30am to be the first in line. Otherwise you will have to sit around and wait your turn. I believe the office will run till 12pm on Saturdays. 
• Obviously come in a healthy state. 
• Another point is to just not tell them you have a certain medical condition or that you are on certain medicine. You want to pass the test and not complicate things. I actually goofed up on this since Yonsei is the hospital I visit for my GI disease, but they said it was okay.

Test Procedure:

• I think a lot of people are kind of worried about how they will do the Cannabis test. Apparently it was just as simple as peeing. But you have to divide your pee in to two containers. 
• First they check your vitals, weight and eyesight. Then you sit in with a doctor and she asks about your medical condition.
• Then the doc has you change into a hospital gown, where you then get a chest examination along with testing your bowels area.
• Afterwards, you go do your blood test, peeing and chest xray. 
• Tada ... all done. They didn't check my teeth this time...thank God!
• The results should be finished in about 4 - 5 days and they will give you a slip of paper for when you should return to pick it up. (Which you can do on a Saturday as well.)

Keep in mind schools tend to take their teachers to some hospital for their health check, but mine makes us go by our selves. In this case, you likely have to miss work to get to a local hospital in time. I didn't want to miss work and so that is why I did it on a Saturday.  Also know that if you live near a major hospital they will likely perform a health check during weekdays, and you can get it done faster if you made an appointment.

What a day!

Wham!

First days are usually a doozy no matter what, but this one sure hit the target. I didn't start teaching today and so didn't really see any of my students. Actually I saw them for a brief moment when they were in their homerooms.

It was a day of many excitements and follies as I started on my path working at this private school. Mostly what I did today was figure out how to decorate my classroom. Turns out the previous 1st grade classes were dropped in favor of newly renovated ones. This means that we had to start from scratch to decorate them. Luckily, in the teacher's room were boxes of stuff leftover from the previous teachers.

There is one strange snafu with my classroom, which is that it is attached to one of the Korean homeroom classrooms via a glass window and door. There is a space between the other class's desks and my class, so I guess that is good. However, I wanted to cover up the window since I felt it was distracting. The Korean homeroom teachers were in their room working on their own preparations. First I asked them if it is was okay to cover up the window, and was told yes. Then as I was covering it up they came over and told me not to. Plus I can't tape anything to the walls. I complied and stopped what I was doing and since then haven't put anything on the walls. The solution, I was told, is to put whatever I want to go on the wall on a foam board and then tack that on the wall using "putty". Good grief! It's because the walls are fresh and they don't want to dirty things up with tape. I hope this hasn't cramped my style with the Korean homeroom teachers. Tomorrow we eat lunch together so I'll try and apologize for my ignorance.

Other than that I got up two posters on the back wall (since there is a tack board) and put letters and numbers around it. The chalkboard in the front will be, of course, for lessons and general stuff. I have to make labels of a lot of stuff. Plus I want to create a rules board to put on the wall. (Gasp!) Also I am struggling on what is the best table arrangements. I want them in groups but not sure if the desks should be horizontal lines or clumped up. When clumped it works well to have them work together, but it made it harder for me to walk around the desks. As of right now the desks are in 6 rows with 3 desks each, all facing the chalkboard. I'll see about experimenting later, just trying to get things to a point where I can lesson plan and be ready.

Thankfully we have till the end of Friday to complete our decorating. Since I just have the labels and that poster to make I think I can get it done. Next Monday and Tuesday will be level testing and then the first day of a real class will be next Wednesday. Just enough time to soak all this in and get things going.

Really, though my head is spinning from the thought of everything I need to get ready plus the complex structure of relationships at the school. Through it all I am really excited inside, and it felt great to be in the teacher's room with 20 other foreign teachers. It felt like we were a team and part of something greater than ourselves. :)

I Was Overweight

I'm talking about my check-in luggage. Winter clothes plus my art supplies and everything else made for two very heavy suitcases. I am sure I could have packed better and gotten rid of more clothes, but for some reason I didn't do that this round. Of course I paid for this mistake at the airport when I found out. We had to pull the suitcases aside and repack one to make it heavier than the other. This way, instead of paying 200,000 for each overweight suitcase I just paid for one.

The flight home wasn't too bad, but I certainly was surprised at the gate. As we boarded the plane I looked out to see it and noticed that it wasn't an Asiana plane but a United one. The ticket I bought was an Asiana ticket, although I did notice it was a carrier of United. My thinking was that the plane was going to be Asiana, boy was I wrong. There were significant differences in flying an American owned company versus an Asian aircraft. For starters there weren't any personal TV displays. Movie watching was left to aisle TV's, and whatever they picked. Our in-flight entertainment consisted of Eat, Pray, Love and some kind of mildly-scary movie. I listened to Eat, Pray, Love for the first few hours of the flight while they served us dinner. This meal wasn't spectacular and there were only Western style choices. Although, I was complaining about always having either BiBimBop or steak for dinner, I really missed the Korean option.

After the lights went out and people settled down more I took into my usual flying routine. That is of covering my eyes with an eye-mask, putting in ear plugs and snuggling up with my neck pillow and blanket. My seat-mates were a Grandma and a Grandpa, which was cute at first until they decided to talk for two hours while I was trying to sleep. After awhile I was beginning to wonder if they were ever going to get tired and shut-up. I figured out a strategy, which was to get up and go use the bathroom, which by the way we were seated next to. Thankfully, this idea worked as I when I got back to my window seat, the Grandpa was walking up and down the aisles for exercise and Grandma was resting in her spot.

I think the trick to sleeping on a plane is to move around till you find a comfortable position. It seems the body knows what to do at that point. I believe I got in about two hours sleep, not completely restful but worthy. The flight was actually kind of short coming in at just barely 10 hours. I'm not sure if flying during the winter time means the winds are better or something.

Anyways, I learned two lessons from this trip. One, that you should double check the baggage restrictions and two that you should try your best not to fly United Airlines.

Cozy

From the words of my boyfriend, "Don't worry, it will take just 30 minutes to clean." I gave him a serious look and told him no. I explained we needed to make it clean so I get my money back. The truth is I don't even know if the cleaning has anything to do with getting my deposit back. From what I gather it has more to do if items are missing or broken. Oh well. I wanted to make sure that the new teacher and my old coteachers saw me as a clean person who doesn't just leave them with a mess.

Once we got all the stuff out, like suitcases and other such things, it was a lot easier to start. We scrubbed, scraped and washed off the past year. Finally, around five o'clock we looked around and knew we were finished. I was going to clean my trash bins but gave up due to just not wanting to clean anymore.

The sad part about cleaning a place and having it look so minimal is that you wish it was like that everyday. Every time I do this I say I am going to be cleaner and better in my new place. haha!

The new teacher is getting a lot of bonuses. For one I left my curtains, since we were too tired to stuff them in the car. Along with the cleaning supplies, an ample amount of toilet paper and even a cheap sketchbook, the new teacher is getting more than the usual empty office-tel.

I am currently relaxing and enjoying the good life at my friend's house till Wednesday. Ah time to get on a plane again. I'm starting to think about what to do with my free time, books to read, things to make...:)

I Became a Cat Lady Overnight

There I was in my kitchen getting ready to make my usual stir fried tofu. I had all the ingredients out and was just about to start chopping, when my boyfriend came in. I wasn't expecting him, but it isn't unusual that he surprises me after work.

In his hand was a shoebox and he held it up like it was a cake box. He approached me and said, "This is a surprise. Open it."

I opened it and there were three little kitten heads popping out. Boy was I surprised! My immediate reaction was, "Three! Three kittens! Why?" And he went on to explain that his client in Incheon gave them to him.

They were dirty and the smell was overwhelming so we immediately gave them a bath. Over which we quickly discussed what we were going to do. I kept going on about how I love cats but kittens are different. They require more attention and training. He was a bit perplexed by my attitude and claimed, "But you love cats, Joy."

It's true I do love cats, and since we have been together I have spent a lot of time explaining why I love cats. I didn't think it would mean that he would bring home three stray kittens in a box. I definitely believe now the saying, "That you should be careful what you wish for."

The cat bath was interesting. At first I took them into the bathroom and tried to clean them with a cloth rubbing off the dirt. But JH had nothing of this and filled up a bucket with warm water and then scrubbed them down himself. Those were some loud kitten calls.

After we washed them we dried them with a hairdryer. Then we knew we needed to take them to a vet. So we put them in a fresh box and went on our way.

The local vet looked at them and spoke a lot with JH. But he didn't do much inspection, as far as I was concerned. He told JH that we should bring them back in a week after they have adjusted, since giving them shots then would have stressed them out more. I asked what sex they were and this resulted in the vet inspecting the kitties in what looked like an uncomfortable way. Poor things. The vet told us they were all boys and I think he is right but maybe we will know better later.

On the way back to the car I vented my concerns and stresses. This led JH to think that it was a bad idea and he told me he would take them back to his client. I calmed him down and said I was hungry and tired and let's at least give them a nice place to sleep. We took them back to my house where I set up their litter box and food.

JH and I discussed what we were going to do, because I told him one cat is easy but three cats... NO! We decided that we will pick one to keep and give the other two up for adoption or foster care.

That night they all slept huddled together in a dark corner near my suitcases. This morning when I lifted up the blankets their cute little heads popped out. As I got ready to go to work they ate and drank water. Thankfully, the night before I did well and trained them to use the litter box. Although, one is still having a little trouble.

Let me tell you that last night I didn't get much sleep. It wasn't because they were noisy or ran around my head, it was because I was overwhelmed. It is one thing to plan for having a kitten or cat in your life but another to have them suddenly show up. I know JH was being a sweetheart and took my love for cats a bit too literal. I think his heart must of went out to these strays. What is odd is that he has always vehemently told me how much he doesn't like cats and loves dogs more. So I was really confused why he would bring me three kittens when he knows he will visit my house. Maybe he doesn't hate cats after all. At one point last night one of the kittens fell asleep on him. He was amused.

So I am still adjusting to these new additions to my life.

At work today I talked all about what happened and then requested to go home early to take care of my kitties. It certainly made for an amusing story.

When I got home I didn't know what to expect. Would the house be turned upside down? Well thankfully things were in order as much as they could be. Since I am moving soon most of my stuff is in boxes anyways. After I got home today I cleaned up the house and did some more packing so to give the kitties ample and free space to do what they want.

 I made sure to pick up some essential items at Lotte mart last night like toys and a blanket for them.

So far my heart is going out for the black one, which I guess is because he is the "different" one of the bunch. But time is going to run out and I need to get two of them into homes before I move at the beginning of December.

I am calling out to you, my readers, if you would like to adopt or foster one of my kittens please let me know. I am training them well so that they won't have too many bad habits.

I hope to use sites such as AnimalRescue and Nabiya to advertise the kitties. They are all sweet and adorable and adopting one at this age would be great because you can really train them to be behaved household cats when they grow up.

Trust me my heart wants to keep all three and see them grow but I know I just can't do that.

They must of had a hard time living on the streets because they like the darkest corner where they can huddle together and get their sleep. So darn cute!

Let me know if you want one! Or know some body or know what works well to get them adopted~

Notes From Camp (Week 1)

I am already past the third day of camp. So far it has been running pretty smoothly, but with 3rd graders what can you expect. This camp is special since there are 2 foreign teachers at my school and so we have 2 groups of kids. Also our program entails the groups switching classes. It turns out the group I have are quiet and the other group is noisy. Kids are kids, so what can you do?

Coming back to work I felt all right and ready to tackle the months ahead. I think the vacation did us all good as we are all at a general level of smiles and "How are you?". There were a few riffs today when I was explaining the shopping role play game but I blame the heat and that I woke up too early. Yet I put myself into gear and calmed down. I am feeling more at ease around my coteachers and finding myself letting go of things that use to bother me. I hope this kind of rhythm keeps up.

Tomorrow we are going to do the egg drop and so I am looking forward to that. However, knowing that there are still 2 more weeks to go drags me down. My next vacation will be in the middle of September for Chuseok, so I think I am going to look forward to that. Yet I don't know what I will be doing yet.

I think I need a nap.

Post Air Travel Rambles

The past 24 hours have proven to be both tiring and inspiring. First off my flight to SFO was delayed due to waiting for other people from other flights to connect to mine. Then while in the air we were delayed landing because SFO was having a traffic jam. When I looked at the mini-map on the screen in front of me I saw a loop-de-loop shape over Oregon.

The flight itself was pretty good, which was Asiana Airlines by the way. I think, however, that because I have regularly flown Korean Air that I have been spoiled. Let me just say that Korean Air has their butt together, and the food tastes better.

Yet once the lights turned off I put in my ear plugs and put on my eye mask and made myself a comfy little corner near the window and tried to get some sleep. I kept on waking up to adjust myself and  move my neck around.

Before they turned off the lights I think they tried to entertain us to compensate for leaving an hour and half late from Korea. They did this by parading around the plane in traditional Korean clothes, like it were a show at a folk festival.

The rest of the flight was pretty smooth. Then came landing and I made my way through the immigration maze.

Yes it was great to see English all around me and hear it being spoken too, but this was still the International side of the airport. It felt as if I was at the delta of a huge melting pot river ready to burst out.

As I waited outside for my hotel shuttle I had a view of the mountains, houses and freeway.

It doesn't look like much but concrete and blue sky, however to my eyes it was like seeing something for the first time again.

First off if you have never been to San Francisco and the Bay Area then you might not know what I mean by all this. The air smelled fantastic! It had the distinct sea smell mixed with eucalyptus. It was home in every sense of the word from scent to sight.

I nearly cried as I looked out over this imagery. Sure I had been in America last year on my summer vacation but this time around something struck a nerve in me.

I checked in to my hotel, called family and took a long hot bath. It had been since last November when I took bath, which was in Osaka at the hotel during my visa run.

Then I watched a little TV to chill out, which was interesting as I had somehow forgotten that American TV has a lot of commercials.  My hotel room...

After vegging out I decided to go look around the neighborhood.

This is the suburbs of San Francisco, which is up in the more Northern parts on the peninsula. It is suburbia, quiet and quaint. Soon many things felt like a novelty, like having to push the button to cross the street.

Yet as I walked through the neighborhood my emotions ran high. This was just a typical street on any here in Northern California, but to me it became so special.

It brought back memories of when I lived around Northern California in various places. The quietude and sharp contrast to a Korean neighborhood started to get to me.

Seeing the American flag people had put out to decorate their lawns or houses felt so symbolic.

Of course, it was recently July 4th.

I have been trying really hard in my tired and fatigued head to talk about this experience without painting Korea as this god-awful place and America as the ultimate utopia vision.

What I realized was that it wasn't really about that Koreans live in tall apartment complexes while Americans (in most areas) live in houses. No, this was personal and was touching on the emotional roller coaster I have been riding since I have been working at my current school.

I can't tell how many times I have cried, crumpled my forehead in anger and lost all hope over what are probably trivial occurrences at work. Last February when I was having the worst of it I felt so desperate that I wanted to just pack up and go home.

Seeing these houses with their comfortable curtains and green lawns made me become aware of what I value so much in life. That is comfort, both in work and home. A sense of peace and comradeship at the workplace.

It feels like every since I went to Korea all I wanted to do was get it right. To do the right things and not disrupt their culture. To learn and accept the differences and be a perfect little diplomat. Yet ever since things messed up at the hagwon my faith in myself to accomplish this has always been shaken.

For some reason coming back to America and seeing the suburban houses I felt a sense of relief that it is all still there and solid. But, most importantly, everything here revolves around a different society, one which is familiar and like a soft pillow.

Before getting on the plane, yesterday, I ran into these two very crucial aspects about Korean culture, that of Kibun and nunchi.

Kibun – The word kibun has no literal translation in English, however, as a concept that permeates every facet of Korean life, it can be described in terms of pride, face, mood, or state of mind. In order to maintain a Korean’s sense of Kibun, particularly in a business context, one must show the proper respect and avoid causing loss of face. In a culture where social harmony is essential, the ability to identify another’s state of mind, often referred to as nunchi, is crucial to successful business ventures. For this reason, you must be aware of subtleties in communication, observing non-verbal and indirect cues that often suggest the true sense of what is being communicated. 

After reading up on this a lot of the broken pieces started make sense and would fit into a focused puzzle.  One example from my experience is asking my coteachers in a direct manner about matters at work.

The point I am trying to make is that Korea has this kibun and nunchi society, whereas America mostly and practically doesn't have it. Sure Americans are perceptive to each others moods, but our values are elsewhere.

Seeing these houses reminded me of how hard Korean life has been and how much I strive to understand yet seem to always come out even more confounded.

To move on with my return-to-America story I then went on to find a Walgreens (Pharmacy) and went inside to see what they had. Then I moved on back towards the hotel to have a bite to eat.

While I did so I saw a Korean tofu house restaurant.

Tomorrow I will get back on another plane and fly out to Florida to visit family. I know my initial reaction to coming back to America was emotional. Inside I don't feel it is really negative, but something that will allow me to asses better the past 2 years in Korea and see more clearly into my future. 

If anything what I really know is that my biggest battle with living in Korea isn't with accepting the different scenery, rather is the experiences I have with my Korean work-relationships. So, if I desire to make a life in Korea then that is one area I truly must grow in.