Not On The List

So I made my way to Bundang and got on the shuttle bus to the Orientation Center. On the way meeting some new people and mingling.

Got in a long line for registration. They looked and looked over the list and my name was not on it.

"Please stand over here while we figure this out."

But things were busy for them so they told me to wait at the office. No one was there and I wondered why my name was not on the list.

But as I thought I realized what may be the problem.

Last week I pleaded with my coteacher that I don't have time to go to the Orientation. That I am swamped with planning the advanced class and the addition of the teacher's English class.

So she called the coordinator's office to plead for me to not go. But Friday passed and we never got an answer from them. So we assumed that I should go anyways, and that is what I did.

I finally found the coordinator and she checked again but of course my name wasn't there. I told her about what had happened last week with the no phone-call business and we went to another office to speak with another coordinator.

This other gal, as soon as she heard my name, told me she was the one who crossed me off the list last week. So I told her we never got a response and I assumed to come to the Orientation.

There wasn't room for me at the Orientation since they were packed with the teacher's who didn't screw it up. Therefore, I was told to go home.

Getting home was a little tricky as I had to make my way down the mountain and to a rural area with a few city like buildings. But a few nice men were at the bottom of the hill and helped me flag down a taxi.

Ah but did I get to go home and relax?! Nope Principal called in and said I should head to work. So here I am frazzled and tired from all the bus riding. But there are only 2 hrs left of work. I guess though I should do some of that planning I was so worried about.

Camouflage

First things first, because I have a backlog of photos from recent outings that I want to get up, I need to express what I have been struggling with recently.

If you had happened to catch a post I put up here about my situation recently at my work, than you would also know that I deleted it. Why? You may ask.

As you know my last week of work was the intensive one and of course was going to be a walk through hell. And yes it was a walk through hell. But the worst came on Wednesday when I became irritated with everyone and everything around me at work. I had few falling outs with one coworker and thus wrote a little complaint about it here on blog.

One of the responses I got was that I need to get use to the Korean way of relationships. When I read this it felt like an appropriate response to my post, but also that I must have not explained my situation well enough.

First off I think it is oh so important I make clear my situation at work:

• There are 5 Korean co-teachers, all female.
• There are 4 Foreign teachers, 1 female (me) the rest male.
  
• 2 of the Foreign teachers are engaged in relationships with 2 of the Korean teachers.
• The teachers room is small and offers no privacy.
• I made the mistake of not going out with everyone after work during my first few weeks.
• I am now left out of the social group. This makes me feel alone and more alienated than usual.
  

Let me make clear my opinion:

• I do not blame my coworkers for my situation for I did not take enough action on my part to interact with the group.
• I feel each and everyone of us works hard as the other, and all get in trouble from time to time by our supervisor.
• I know it would difficult to be a part of the group now that it is too late, but I at least want to be on the same level w/ everyone so to have peace in the office.

My solution:

• Talk more with everyone about the classes or just general opinion questions.
• Apologize when necessary but don't overdo it.
• Join in during after work gatherings on occasion.
  
• Accept I am not in the group, but I can still be friendly.

So there you have it. Whether I need to start becoming Korean and try to figure out the Korean mind is up in the air. Actually I think this isn't necessary because it is practically, in my opinion, impossible to think as a Korean woman would think. I think as an American woman and so be it! The key lies in that I make the two compromise with each other. I understand their side and if they don't understand mine, well that is up to them anyways.

This is what it is about being a foreigner, for you encounter not only the foreign sites but the foreign way of thinking and functioning. You can grow to hate it, loathe it or love it, but no matter what it will always remain foreign.

So last night my coworkers were going out for dinner after work and I decided to come along. BK joined us as well. I didn't socialize with everyone due to the table being so long, but I think it showed my human side and also I got to see my coworkers human side as well. I could tell by their tired faces that the job is hard on them too and so I know that no matter whether we are Korean or American work is work and it will always be a duty that is difficult at times.

From now on I hope my coworkers see me, if not a part of the group, but someone willing to get along with.

Buzz: Expatriate Adjustments

Let's face it, sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the world. Especially if that world doesn't even have grass and is all covered in cement and cigarette butts.

The word on the blog streets is that Expat's complain a hell-of a lot. So much that it is indeed annoying. Now the buzz is why the hell do expats complain?

Certainly there must be better things to do with your time like:

• Read up on the culture you are living in.
• Try to get to know a native person around you.
• Think objectively about your situation.

The Gordsellar states the necessity to complain is practically a natural cause and effect relationship.

A look at how a complaint is turned into a firestorm:

Say you come from the pristine suburban land that is America. On your streets are mostly friendly people who say "excuse me" or "hello, how are you today?". The landscape is laid out in a pedestrian friendly manner. People make eye contact and help you if you need it.

Your life is familiar and you know how to function within your environment.

But then you pack yourself up and move to South Korea.

You are out of your native habitat and everything and everyone seems different. After having a few bad days and nights these people and these places begin to look ugly.

Everyone and everything around you becomes a scapegoat for the natural crap that is going on in your life. You need to rant so you find outlets online and speak unthinkable things about the people and culture around you with disregard for the truth.

Although you are just one person your flames of spite ignite a torrent of fury across the Internet, which ripples its away around the globe.

Thus giving the impression that foreigners can't stand it in South Korea.

Conclusion:
It doesn't take much thought to understand that when you throw a big rock into a small pond it makes a big splash.

But this sort of splash can leave a residue behind that affects writers on the Internet that aren't pissed off.


Problematic:
I think as an expatriate blogger myself I am constantly having to check myself and ask:

Am I sounding like I am complaining?

When all I want to do is write about my opinions and realities that I experience. I feel that when we try to be politically correct most of the time, it pitfalls into an area where the true raw feelings we experience are washed away.

REALIZATION:

Please know that complaining isn't only reserved to the American in Korea. Koreans, UKer's, South Africa and others complain their asses off while in America.

I know because I heard an ear full of this working at summer camps where these people worked (except the Koreans).

My boyfriend would constantly complain about America and its poor transit system and lack of cleanliness. (visited San Francisco).

All in all just remember this first: when you take a fish out of the water it is going to gasp for air.

I leave you with that.

training is over

Hi ya'all!

So training at the YBM head office finished today. And again I am really grateful to have this training but still don't know quite yet whether it will come in handy. The first month is going to rough because I will be going through all the steps of figuring out what works while at the same time still adjusting to my foreigner life.

Today's training was not as intense as the last few days and highlighted some important aspects of teaching. Such as always have a plan and to remember that your kids are a lot smarter than you think they are. I already kind of know that second part from being around kids at camp so I hope I remember that in class. Also our teacher took us out for a lunch treat at a place in the Insadong area. Insadong looked like what China Town looks like if you have ever been to one in New York or San Francisco, mostly because the streets are lined with shops selling basically the same tourist trap stuff. Peppered amongst these stores were some places selling art and pottery. I really want to go back there and spend more time checking it out. While I was there I saw an art supply store...so woo hoo!

I think being around other foreigners helped me understand that I have a dual role here in Korea. One I am a foreigner to Koreans and two I am a foreigner to other foreigners. Sometimes I see random other foreigners on the subway or street and I smile at them but I tend to not get a smile back. I don't know if that is intentional or just coincidence.

So I am still resistant to walk into a Korean restaurant by myself and order food. I think it is a taboo here to sit in a place and eat alone, so there is that problem first off. Next, I don't know what to order and also I am still getting use to what I feel is the "Korean" taste that Korean food has, and that really isn't the spiciness. Just in general Korean food has a certain taste that when you aren't in the mood can be not appetizing.

So what do I do instead?

Well I go buy a sandwhich in the "Family Mart" and eat some cheese and crackers. I know not a meal right? But satisfying enough...till I get a grasp on food. My schedule for when I start teaching will have me coming home around 8pm so that really isn't the time I am use to eating dinner. These adjustments will certain take some time to accept but I will try my best not to let get me down.

Anyways, tomorrow I go back to my company and observe more classes. Afterwards I will be heading off to a hospital for my health check. Yea finally some paperwork is getting done! But that doesn't leave much time for lesson planning for my classes on Monday...maybe I can get it done this weekend.

Speaking of which Saturday I will move into my Office Tel and I don't think it has Internet. So unless I have time to go to a PC Bang updating and email will be slowwwww.

Ok well :)

That zone of tiredness

Ah, so tiredness hit me today in class while we were being taught about lesson planning. I kind of have the habit of being a real insensitive person when I get super tired. Mostly because all I want is my bed and dim lights. So I unfortunately gave the teacher (who is really awesome) some dirty looks.

Fortunately, I was able to go home and rest.

Training has been really comprehensive, and from what I have read from other blogs and Dave's ESL cafe that training can either be existent or non-existent. So I am happy to have this training, despite how intense it is. You know a company cares about you if they take the time to train you and give you booklets with information about teaching. I know from my experience as a camp counselor that some companies will just do a really shitty job of training and still call it training.

But we won't really know if any of this will pay off till my first day of teaching which is next Monday. (By the way any 'day' references are always going to be from the Korea perspective.)

Ooo some good news. I am going to be moving into an Office Tel, which for me has a lot of romantic notions of better space and provisions. My supervisor did tell me it is bigger than most Office Tels so that is great. Again, though we won't really know till I step foot in it. But moving out of my Love Motel will be a nice change.

Ahhh well I am just adjusting to this foreigner life here. I think I am doing a good job of getting by despite I have little speaking ability in Korean. Some things I would like to get done such as....

• Getting a cellphone.
• Getting a bank account.
• Getting my health insurance.
• Buying a better pillow.
• sleeeeep

And so on...

Till then I will grateful for what I do have and how far I have come from just last year.

;)

It's raining...

Today starts off with a soggy view from my window. Yesterday I enjoyed being in the reall inner part of Seoul where there are more people and plenty more shops. I met more foreigners which felt good and one of them we went for pizza afterwards.

Today is pretty much the same where I have to go down there and back, but afterwards I have to stop off at my company... I am not looking forward to that.

Sorry short post here need to get ready and eat breakfast.
:)