As I was at my local stationary store, shopping for Holiday cards to send the family, I soon became a part of something. When entering the stationary store you go down a flight of white stairs. At the bottom is the entrance, where near here were a shelf of cards, these ones of the more traditional imagery style.
I browsed these first and came upon one with recessed birds flying over a white washed background. It was nice, and I picked it up. I moved on to the other racks of cards that were further into the store. Here, standing next to an Ahjumma, I browsed around. The next thing I know she was pointing to my card and asking where I got it. Yes I understood that much Korean. I pointed to where I got it and told her, "Over there." She said some more words and seemed not sure of where I found it. Then she went over to that section.
A little later she came back over to me and said something about it not being over there. Not that she didn't believe me, just that she couldn't find it. So I went over there with her to see if I could find it, too. Alas, I couldn't find it either. Then she managed to ask a store clerk if they had more. He scratched his young head and then looked at the cards too. The next thing I know another clerk took the card from my hand and went to the back of the store. I didn't really mind. Actually, earlier I tried to give it to the lady but she refused.
I turned around and looked at some cards nearby, as they brought out a box and searched inside their stock. Apparently, I had the only one left. At this point the card was in the lady's hands and I made hand gestures that she should keep it and said, "Gwenchanaeyo" or "It's ok, really!" She seemed very pleased and thanked me.
I wasn't attached to the card, and really just wish I could have spoken more Korean to her so that she could understand it was ok for her to have it. Yet, when all was said and done I'd like to think I shared some Christmas spirit with this lady. I hope she brings this story home with her or that whoever gets the card finds out how it got into her hands.
Showing posts with label ignorance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ignorance. Show all posts
Monday, December 12, 2011
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Asia vs. Asia: A New Look
Two years ago when I was fresh to Korea I wrote a post titled "Asia vs. Asia: (Series: Ugly Korean)" and since then it has been one of my top blog hits. Yet I am not proud of this post and fear that people come onto it in search of reaffirmation of their personal beliefs on Korea. It was my intention to share an experience I had with my ex about his world view amongst other Asian countries. I never really went back to that topic and so now would like to revisit it and offer up my insight after living in Korea for two years.
Issue 1: Asian people comparing themselves amongst other Asian nations.
When I first came to Korea I wanted to find out how Korean people compare themselves against other Asian countries, specifically Japan and China. I have come to discover that generally people tend to center themselves towards their country of origin and then go from there. In other words, Koreans treat Korea as the center of the Universe and their point of reference. We all do this, I believe, when comparing ourselves with other nations.
Yet I do feel Korean people take it to a higher level. To put Korea front and center means that Korean people tend to feel that Korea is always better than their Asian neighbors.
Take for example, when I have talked about my Japan travels with my coteachers. One of my coteachers asked me if I felt Japan was better than Korea. I said yes but explained why with details from my trips. I told her that certainly living in another country is different from just visiting it. She concluded with, "Korea is better." But gave no real explanations as to why.
My coteacher was merely just being Nationalistic. Yet their eccentric Nationalism I feel sometimes overlooks the truth and gets in the way with critical thinking.
In my opinion, I don't think Korea has to change its Nationalistic attitude or all of sudden become a nation of people that don't see themselves as #1 amongst other nations. All I know is that when I come face to face with Korean pride that I have to take a step back and let this person have their moment.
Issue 2: How Korean people embrace and interact with non-Koreans.
When thinking about this issue I feel I need to try and get into the skin of a Korean person. To look at their world through their eyes.
What I see myself doing is when I walk down the street and see a foreign looking person that I slow down and stare at them. Maybe the child holding my hand will point and tell me that there is a foreigner nearby. We both stare and nod in agreement. Then move on.
Issue 1: Asian people comparing themselves amongst other Asian nations.
When I first came to Korea I wanted to find out how Korean people compare themselves against other Asian countries, specifically Japan and China. I have come to discover that generally people tend to center themselves towards their country of origin and then go from there. In other words, Koreans treat Korea as the center of the Universe and their point of reference. We all do this, I believe, when comparing ourselves with other nations.
Yet I do feel Korean people take it to a higher level. To put Korea front and center means that Korean people tend to feel that Korea is always better than their Asian neighbors.
My coteacher was merely just being Nationalistic. Yet their eccentric Nationalism I feel sometimes overlooks the truth and gets in the way with critical thinking.
South Koreans are nationalistic. Part of the nationalism stems from the compulsory national service required of South Korean men. Part of the nationalism stems from the fact that they are still at war with the north. Part of the nationalism stems from a desire to prove they are different from Japan and China.Take that last part there, "...desire to prove they are different from Japan and China." I for one feel that is very true and why when talking about Japan or China with Korean people it can become a touchy subject. It isn't random, of course, because it stems from a long history of invasion and hibernation from the world.
Korea has been invaded, annexed, occupied, liberated, and sometimes unwillingly protected, by Japan, China, Russia/The Soviet Union, and the United States over the past few centuries.Koreans tend to see themselves as members of a "race" that has been fighting for it's independence from foreign domination for centuries. This can result in Koreans being overly defensive towards anything they see as a threat to their way of life. This also makes many Koreans easily swayed to any point of view that plays upon nationalism.The examples of this that come from living in South Korea are that you can have a really hard time talking about Korea in a critical thinking way with other Korean people. As an outsider one wants to understand why Korean people do what they do and also what they are thinking. Therefore one tries to find these answers by talking to their Korean colleagues. Yet in the end the result is usually of more confusion and that you possibly just pissed off the people you work with.
In my opinion, I don't think Korea has to change its Nationalistic attitude or all of sudden become a nation of people that don't see themselves as #1 amongst other nations. All I know is that when I come face to face with Korean pride that I have to take a step back and let this person have their moment.
Issue 2: How Korean people embrace and interact with non-Koreans.
When thinking about this issue I feel I need to try and get into the skin of a Korean person. To look at their world through their eyes.
What I see myself doing is when I walk down the street and see a foreign looking person that I slow down and stare at them. Maybe the child holding my hand will point and tell me that there is a foreigner nearby. We both stare and nod in agreement. Then move on.
Can I, the foreigner, really look at the world from a Korean's perspective? 
Let's just say that recognizing and gawking at the outsider around you isn't specific to Korea. I believe that in any part of the world where the majority of people surrounding you are all of the same type of race will lead you to naturally recognize someone who looks different. Small town America is still like this, but I feel most people in America are use to diversity either around them or on their television set.
For a long time Korea has mostly been full of, yep you guessed it, Koreans. Day-to-day Korean people see dark hair and dark eyes all around them. Then slowly, more and more, people with different color eyes, hair, skin, body shape, speech and so on started to arrive (and stay).
The reactions of Korean people vary from the subtle staring to shouting and being aggressive either in speech or within an online group that promotes racism. The interaction of Koreans with foreigners and their acceptance of them is at times horrifying and at other times humbling. Take for example this excerpt from the hate group Anti-English Spectrum:
It goes without saying that I have experienced being treated like an outsider.
Bothered by this, and gathering our power together, our consciences would not allow us to overlook this tragic story as if we were looking across a river. We are aware that loving your country does not only mean taking up arms and fighting in a war. Against illegal, low-quality English instructors who prevent our land from learning English and against English Spectrum, who debased and degraded the image of Korean women to that of one country's filthy national brand -- this is our strong fight!hmm...
It goes without saying that I have experienced being treated like an outsider.
It comes in various ways:
At work:
- There was a recent quarrel where myself and the other foreign worker became fed up of the overly use of Korean in our office. We get it, they are Korean and communicating in Korean is easier than English. But often we hear our names and then laughing or sighing afterward. We wonder what they are talking about and it leads to paranoia, which ends up festering. We tried to make the point that when we hear them use our names while speaking Korean it makes us feel insecure. That they should think about how it makes us feel to speak Korean most of the time in the office with our presence. They didn't get it. They thought we were overreacting and being silly. They told us that they can't help but speak Korean. But they didn't get that they should include us in their group and when they always speak Korean about work or other issues they leave us out. Leaving us out makes us truly feel like the "other".
- In a nutshell this is an example of how at work you can often feel like the "other" and outsider due to that your Korean collegues don't see you as truly part of their group.
Outside:
- There is the staring. The pointing from children.
- Parents make their children speak to the foreigner.
- Whispering about the foreigner.
- Note that I have never really had a terrible experience outside the house here in Korea. I have gotten use to the staring and forget the reason why. The hardest part seems to be riding the subway when you are in a tight space and anything could happen. I want to note that other foreigners (especially women) have had unsettling experiences.
Media:
- "Talk with Beauties" is a show that puts up beautified foreign women and talks with them in Korean. The conversations are scripted and most of what they talk about is junk. This kind of show takes the foreign woman and makes them exotic. Something that is really not helpful to our street image.
- Contrastingly there are many shows that show the foreign (especially white) man as a sexual predator. Because of this I have come across many Korean women (young and old) that believe foreign men just come to their country to do bad things and be a sexual predator.
All of these are examples of how Korean people are confronting and dealing with the foreigners around them.
Conclusion and Reflection:
I am curious to know how Koreans embrace others from different cultural backgrounds. For now I believe that I am sure it is of no real big deal over there. That they coexist in a peaceful and sometimes hostile way. But I can't help but think that underneath the surface that some people may still feel some kind of historical and cultural opinion towards an outsider.
Those were my final thoughts from my original post on the subject. I believe I was definitely wearing rose colored glasses. Certainly the Nationalist feeling is strong here and reflects how Korean people see themselves amongst the other Asian nations.
Yet I think it is important to remember that there are millions of Koreans on this peninsula. Young and old I am sure you can find differing opinions than what was presented here.
In the end I keep in mind a philosophy that I use to keep myself sane while living here. That is: It is their stage and if they want to act and present themselves in a certain way in front of me than that is their choice. I am just the observer. And...the critic.
*I hope you enjoyed this look back on my old post and that I showed how over time one's opinion can develop and change. It has been a while since I brought up politics like this and I hope I wasn't too broad. Thanks!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Yoga & Lifestyle
At my school they have an activity group for teachers. I chose to do the Yoga class and finally had my first experience of it yesterday. They had met already a few times previously but I ended up not going due to school duties.
About 9 years ago I took a yoga class as one of my first college courses. I really enjoyed it and since then, on occasion, try to brush up on it at home. But I found out quickly, yesterday, just how out of shape I am in.
The yoga class is set inside one of the homeroom classes, where we push all the desks aside. I bought my own yoga mat, a bright pink thing with a swirl of blue on it. I changed out of my jeans and put on my sweatpants (in the bathroom of course).
The yoga instructor looked thin and healthy and very happy. In the class there were about 6 more teachers, all Korean and we got ready for class.
Ambient music was being played in the background as we got started. The instructor taught the class in Korean, but most of what she said were the Korean numbers which I understand. So I wasn't at a complete loss, and I knew that yoga is about breathing. Therefore, I remembered to breath in on one movement and out on the other. She would come up to me as she moved around the classroom and straighten me out now and then.
The moves she did were a variation of what I was familiar with from the past. But she did do a lot of leg exercises. My legs have always been an issue for me, meaning that I can't really lie down and lift my leg all the way in a straight line. It tends to bend inward. I hope that sounds right...haha. My point is that not only am I out of shape but my legs didn't want to cooperate, but I adjusted the movements.
It felt good to take the class, however, now my upper back is in pain and I feel fatigued. Probably worth it since I could use an exercise class in my life.
This brings me to a question, which might have an obvious answer. How should I incorporate an exercise routine into my life?
My lifestyle so far includes me coming home, making dinner, eating, watching some American drama or doing my art.
I feel that I can't exercise after eating and if I wait a while later that if I exercise before bed I will feel too awake. Really I can't get my head around how to make this work.
Any suggestions would be great.
About 9 years ago I took a yoga class as one of my first college courses. I really enjoyed it and since then, on occasion, try to brush up on it at home. But I found out quickly, yesterday, just how out of shape I am in.
The yoga class is set inside one of the homeroom classes, where we push all the desks aside. I bought my own yoga mat, a bright pink thing with a swirl of blue on it. I changed out of my jeans and put on my sweatpants (in the bathroom of course).
The yoga instructor looked thin and healthy and very happy. In the class there were about 6 more teachers, all Korean and we got ready for class.
Ambient music was being played in the background as we got started. The instructor taught the class in Korean, but most of what she said were the Korean numbers which I understand. So I wasn't at a complete loss, and I knew that yoga is about breathing. Therefore, I remembered to breath in on one movement and out on the other. She would come up to me as she moved around the classroom and straighten me out now and then.
The moves she did were a variation of what I was familiar with from the past. But she did do a lot of leg exercises. My legs have always been an issue for me, meaning that I can't really lie down and lift my leg all the way in a straight line. It tends to bend inward. I hope that sounds right...haha. My point is that not only am I out of shape but my legs didn't want to cooperate, but I adjusted the movements.
It felt good to take the class, however, now my upper back is in pain and I feel fatigued. Probably worth it since I could use an exercise class in my life.
This brings me to a question, which might have an obvious answer. How should I incorporate an exercise routine into my life?
- I get home at 5 pm.
- I am usually very hungry because school lunch is meager.
- I like to cook fresh meals which sometimes take an hour to make.
- Embarrassing: I typically go to bed between 9 - 9:30. I just get very sleepy and don't push myself to stay awake.
- There is a gym across from my building, it's a public gym. I haven't been there yet. I have been to gyms in the past but I get really bored just cycling over and over. Also I have a hard time pushing myself.
- I live near a walking trail that goes around a river.
My lifestyle so far includes me coming home, making dinner, eating, watching some American drama or doing my art.
I feel that I can't exercise after eating and if I wait a while later that if I exercise before bed I will feel too awake. Really I can't get my head around how to make this work.
Any suggestions would be great.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Warm Outside Cold Inside
If it is one thing I don't want to do it is to constantly talk about my work life. There are so many other aspects of life here in Korea. But really I can't help but pass along these experiences since I know it will be helpful to other expats.
In the springtime at school it is usually warmer outside than it is inside. The school seems to act like a refrigerator. These days they have turned off the heater to the entire school. I don't really mind since they were blasting the heater anyways and it was making the air way too dry.
This week, it seems, was full of ups and downs. On Monday I had succeeded with my open class and felt really positive. But then I came in Tuesday in a moody way. I had PMS symptoms, which made me look moody (seriously if you are a woman and know what I am talking about...). As the others sat around mingling over coffee I barged my way around asking where the dice were. It didn't look good of course. Later before lunch my coteacher Mrs. K asked why I was so wrong to do that. I said sorry of course. Then apologized at lunch time to everyone. Mrs. K then reminded me, "This is your second time, Joy."
I know the mistake I made of bringing my mood onto others and bringing everyone down. But inside I just get a bit tired that they don't get past that and accept I am human. Yet, I am in Korea and being moody in front of others is a taboo. So making sure I don't upset others with moodiness is something I am going to be mindful of.
Then Wednesday came and some little change occurred. Mrs. K told me she will give the 6th graders a listening test outside the classroom, which meant that I will be teaching alone. I wasn't too shocked by the news since giving tests in this manner was familiar to me. However it was going to be my first time at this school teaching by myself and so I knew things needed to be shifted around in my mind.
What ended up happening was a mistake that I didn't recognize would be so grave. It was second period and the class was being very rowdy and unfocused. Also I had the period mixed up with the next one so I accidentally finished 10 minutes early. As soon as I said, "It's time to say goodbye." The students closed their books, got up and started playing their small games. I lost control of the class and didn't get it back. I just resigned myself to play some English videos. I treated the situation in a casual manner and even considered the incident not that big of a deal. I apologized to my coteacher when she came back in the room to make sure she knew it wasn't the students fault.
Yesterday I went to work thinking all is fit as a fiddle. I worked with my other coteacher Mrs. W and we enjoyed our time in the classroom. Then a few hours after lunch Mrs. K came up to me and told me to come with her to have a talk. I figured she just wanted to talk about our coteaching.
We left the teacher's room and went into the Audio / Visual room. At a desk she sat in front of me. We sat down and she asked me, "Do you know why you are here?" I was honest and said, "Not really." ...."To talk about coteaching?" (With a big grinning smile.)
She shook her head and gave a heavy sigh, and then went into yesterday's events. Apparently it greatly upset and disappointed her. Immediately I explained the mix up with the time and that the students were already not focused. But she grilled me harder about it. She used this event to come to the conclusion that I am not a good teacher. That I am a "cold person" who does not have a warm heart. She told me about how she doesn't like my teaching style at all.
Her complaints were that I am not using a loud voice (truth is my voice is not naturally loud), I am not moving my arms, I am not touching or hugging the students (with 6th graders I draw the line), I am not being active enough, I am not in control of the class (when we are coteaching the class is usual under control and I use a point system and other techniques...just don't yell at them), I use too many powerpoints (maybe 1 or 2 a lesson...so just 2 times a week), I don't keep track of time (not entirely true...just end things quickly), I don't give a review with the class....and so on.
In other cases I have cried and become very emotional when an older Korean woman rips me to shreds. I know a supervisor's role is to check their employee's job but when an older Korean woman does it she hits you over the head so hard with her message that you are left feeling tiny and insignificant. Anyways, this time I didn't cry or have a tantrum. I let her talk and I explained where I was coming from.
Some explanations I gave were that although I have taught at public school before, the teaching situation was a lot different. At Hwasan Elementary we taught basically 50 / 50 and made things up as we went along. Last semester, at my current school with the previous coteachers, I taught probably only 30% while they did most of the work. (It wasn't my choice...they made it that way). So I explained to her that this is my first time given 80 - 90 % of the class. Really it is the first time they have told me, "This is your class you can do what you want." I tried to relay the point that I am new to this concept and working it out. Another explanation I gave her in regards to my class management style is that I like not to be aggressive like the Korean way. I told her that I like to use certain methods and techniques besides the familiar Korean ones of yelling and scaring a child into learning. Her response: You are in Korea and you have to teach the Korean way.
This is where I realized that it probably didn't matter what I said in defense of myself. She had already chosen an image of me and all I could do now was tell her that I would consider everything and make a change.
Throughout this were some pretty oddball things. For example, at first she made me write down "in detail" explaining the event that took place Wednesday. Then she made me write down what I would do next time to make it better. Both pieces, when she read them, she gave another heavy sigh and said that I didn't write what she was looking for. I just wrote things very factual and added stuff like discipline methods and a promise to not make the mistake again. In addition, she had a written letter from a student from that class explaining what happened (it was in Korean...but I put two and two together).
We talked in that room for, I believe, two hours. There were a few times when she tried to finish up the conversation but I kept on talking and trying, in a polite and calm way, defend my position and explain myself.
At one point, towards the end, she mentioned how she will take what I said and share it with the other coteachers and have a discussion and then give me my "result." I asked her what kind of "result" this was and she just said it was a "result." Of course in mind it made me think they were going to fire my ass. That is probably why I kept on talking to her...to give her all the info I could. I also told her that I felt defenseless. I even mentioned how I felt like she is forgetting the cultural differences. But she said that I have to be like a Korean here since I am in Korea. I wanted to argue with her that I agree I should follow the Korean way but it is not something I can't do 100% of the time or expect to get it right. But I knew it was useless and also just generally disappointed she couldn't realize this herself.
We finished and it was already nearly 15 minutes to leaving time. So the day ended on that note. Needless to say last night was spent a crying mess.
On the way home I walked with my coworker (the other foreigner) and burst out in tears about the situation. I told her that I was sorry for any problems I have caused her. She listened to me about the meeting and told me how shocked she was to hear that Mrs. K did that. Her impression is that she is really going after me and not being fair. Not considering the cultural differences.
What was funny was that in the meeting Mrs. K mentioned my coworker. Saying, "P is younger than you...you know?" "You need to look after her because you are her older sister." I nearly burst out laughing at hearing that. Yea my coworker is younger than me but we both consider each other on that same playing field that Westerners do. I told my foreign coworker this and she was a bit surprised.
Well my coworker told me to not let it get to me, but that is what I did last night. I know I screwed up Wednesday but really I am trying my darnedest to get every aspect of this job right. From keeping things happy and charming in the teacher's room and around school, to teaching the kids in a wholesome and fun manner. Yet, it feels that no matter how hard I try and suffer that in the end if someone doesn't like you because of X, Y & Z than you are in the shitter no matter what. Yes I disappointed her with that incident but does she have to go to such extremes with dealing with it? At the meeting she literally crushed my teaching spirit. This morning on the way to work I couldn't see how exactly I was suppose to teach.
Yet as I got closer and closer to the school I told myself, "It's Friday" and I imagined one of my 4th grader's smile. (He has the cutest and funniest smile.) This pepped me up enough to get through the day.
Oh yea, I also brought with me one of those spongecakes from Paris Baguette to grease the wheel with everyone today.
Of course, at work, Mrs. K showed no signs of disgust towards me during the day. And I never got that "result"....not that I was expecting to. We went to our classes and she sat in the back giving the listening test.
But I did my darndest to rock up the class and talk with excitement, move my arms and laugh...whatever it took to show I gave a shit. I don't want to amp up my classes to please her but do it for the kids. Of course I agree with her teaching philosophy but you know you can't insult someone thoroughly and then tell them to go teach classes with a positive chipper attitude. Yet that is what I did today. Playing the insane fool was kind of fun.
I know Mrs. K is freaking out and taking things too far. I also know that I will never really be able to please her. But I am going to keep on teaching until they fire me or my contract ends, and then we will see what comes next. By the way, Mrs. K is only at my school for one semester and then the Teacher dude comes back.
One last thing... I also feel somewhat shocked by all this. For a while there I was really getting along with Mrs. K, talking to her, laughing, sharing about my boyfriend and American life. One afternoon I knew JH was coming to my house so I invited her to swing by and meet him. I honestly thought all was well on this front. I guess she just snapped when I made the mistake on Wednesday. I want her to forgive me but I want her to know that she needs to be forgiven as well.
Well there you have it another post about the casualties of teaching life here in Korea. Last night I seriously thought to myself maybe it is time to pack up and leave. Go back to my poor life in San Francisco, maybe go back to school and get a Masters in something. Shop at thrift stores and only spend my money on groceries. Oh the good old days.
Of course I talk about these troubles with JH, even cry deeply over it with him on the phone. He is comforting but there is a cultural line that he struggles to cross. Yet as long as he is willing to understand and help lift my spirits I will take that.
To anyone else struggling with these issues here in Korea or ever experience your supervisor telling you that you are not a good teacher. Just take it in one ear and don't let it go up to your brain. The point I am trying to make is that do what you can, and don't give up.
In the springtime at school it is usually warmer outside than it is inside. The school seems to act like a refrigerator. These days they have turned off the heater to the entire school. I don't really mind since they were blasting the heater anyways and it was making the air way too dry.
This week, it seems, was full of ups and downs. On Monday I had succeeded with my open class and felt really positive. But then I came in Tuesday in a moody way. I had PMS symptoms, which made me look moody (seriously if you are a woman and know what I am talking about...). As the others sat around mingling over coffee I barged my way around asking where the dice were. It didn't look good of course. Later before lunch my coteacher Mrs. K asked why I was so wrong to do that. I said sorry of course. Then apologized at lunch time to everyone. Mrs. K then reminded me, "This is your second time, Joy."
I know the mistake I made of bringing my mood onto others and bringing everyone down. But inside I just get a bit tired that they don't get past that and accept I am human. Yet, I am in Korea and being moody in front of others is a taboo. So making sure I don't upset others with moodiness is something I am going to be mindful of.
Then Wednesday came and some little change occurred. Mrs. K told me she will give the 6th graders a listening test outside the classroom, which meant that I will be teaching alone. I wasn't too shocked by the news since giving tests in this manner was familiar to me. However it was going to be my first time at this school teaching by myself and so I knew things needed to be shifted around in my mind.
What ended up happening was a mistake that I didn't recognize would be so grave. It was second period and the class was being very rowdy and unfocused. Also I had the period mixed up with the next one so I accidentally finished 10 minutes early. As soon as I said, "It's time to say goodbye." The students closed their books, got up and started playing their small games. I lost control of the class and didn't get it back. I just resigned myself to play some English videos. I treated the situation in a casual manner and even considered the incident not that big of a deal. I apologized to my coteacher when she came back in the room to make sure she knew it wasn't the students fault.
Yesterday I went to work thinking all is fit as a fiddle. I worked with my other coteacher Mrs. W and we enjoyed our time in the classroom. Then a few hours after lunch Mrs. K came up to me and told me to come with her to have a talk. I figured she just wanted to talk about our coteaching.
We left the teacher's room and went into the Audio / Visual room. At a desk she sat in front of me. We sat down and she asked me, "Do you know why you are here?" I was honest and said, "Not really." ...."To talk about coteaching?" (With a big grinning smile.)
She shook her head and gave a heavy sigh, and then went into yesterday's events. Apparently it greatly upset and disappointed her. Immediately I explained the mix up with the time and that the students were already not focused. But she grilled me harder about it. She used this event to come to the conclusion that I am not a good teacher. That I am a "cold person" who does not have a warm heart. She told me about how she doesn't like my teaching style at all.
Her complaints were that I am not using a loud voice (truth is my voice is not naturally loud), I am not moving my arms, I am not touching or hugging the students (with 6th graders I draw the line), I am not being active enough, I am not in control of the class (when we are coteaching the class is usual under control and I use a point system and other techniques...just don't yell at them), I use too many powerpoints (maybe 1 or 2 a lesson...so just 2 times a week), I don't keep track of time (not entirely true...just end things quickly), I don't give a review with the class....and so on.
In other cases I have cried and become very emotional when an older Korean woman rips me to shreds. I know a supervisor's role is to check their employee's job but when an older Korean woman does it she hits you over the head so hard with her message that you are left feeling tiny and insignificant. Anyways, this time I didn't cry or have a tantrum. I let her talk and I explained where I was coming from.
Some explanations I gave were that although I have taught at public school before, the teaching situation was a lot different. At Hwasan Elementary we taught basically 50 / 50 and made things up as we went along. Last semester, at my current school with the previous coteachers, I taught probably only 30% while they did most of the work. (It wasn't my choice...they made it that way). So I explained to her that this is my first time given 80 - 90 % of the class. Really it is the first time they have told me, "This is your class you can do what you want." I tried to relay the point that I am new to this concept and working it out. Another explanation I gave her in regards to my class management style is that I like not to be aggressive like the Korean way. I told her that I like to use certain methods and techniques besides the familiar Korean ones of yelling and scaring a child into learning. Her response: You are in Korea and you have to teach the Korean way.
This is where I realized that it probably didn't matter what I said in defense of myself. She had already chosen an image of me and all I could do now was tell her that I would consider everything and make a change.
Throughout this were some pretty oddball things. For example, at first she made me write down "in detail" explaining the event that took place Wednesday. Then she made me write down what I would do next time to make it better. Both pieces, when she read them, she gave another heavy sigh and said that I didn't write what she was looking for. I just wrote things very factual and added stuff like discipline methods and a promise to not make the mistake again. In addition, she had a written letter from a student from that class explaining what happened (it was in Korean...but I put two and two together).
We talked in that room for, I believe, two hours. There were a few times when she tried to finish up the conversation but I kept on talking and trying, in a polite and calm way, defend my position and explain myself.
At one point, towards the end, she mentioned how she will take what I said and share it with the other coteachers and have a discussion and then give me my "result." I asked her what kind of "result" this was and she just said it was a "result." Of course in mind it made me think they were going to fire my ass. That is probably why I kept on talking to her...to give her all the info I could. I also told her that I felt defenseless. I even mentioned how I felt like she is forgetting the cultural differences. But she said that I have to be like a Korean here since I am in Korea. I wanted to argue with her that I agree I should follow the Korean way but it is not something I can't do 100% of the time or expect to get it right. But I knew it was useless and also just generally disappointed she couldn't realize this herself.
We finished and it was already nearly 15 minutes to leaving time. So the day ended on that note. Needless to say last night was spent a crying mess.
On the way home I walked with my coworker (the other foreigner) and burst out in tears about the situation. I told her that I was sorry for any problems I have caused her. She listened to me about the meeting and told me how shocked she was to hear that Mrs. K did that. Her impression is that she is really going after me and not being fair. Not considering the cultural differences.
What was funny was that in the meeting Mrs. K mentioned my coworker. Saying, "P is younger than you...you know?" "You need to look after her because you are her older sister." I nearly burst out laughing at hearing that. Yea my coworker is younger than me but we both consider each other on that same playing field that Westerners do. I told my foreign coworker this and she was a bit surprised.
Well my coworker told me to not let it get to me, but that is what I did last night. I know I screwed up Wednesday but really I am trying my darnedest to get every aspect of this job right. From keeping things happy and charming in the teacher's room and around school, to teaching the kids in a wholesome and fun manner. Yet, it feels that no matter how hard I try and suffer that in the end if someone doesn't like you because of X, Y & Z than you are in the shitter no matter what. Yes I disappointed her with that incident but does she have to go to such extremes with dealing with it? At the meeting she literally crushed my teaching spirit. This morning on the way to work I couldn't see how exactly I was suppose to teach.
Yet as I got closer and closer to the school I told myself, "It's Friday" and I imagined one of my 4th grader's smile. (He has the cutest and funniest smile.) This pepped me up enough to get through the day.
Oh yea, I also brought with me one of those spongecakes from Paris Baguette to grease the wheel with everyone today.
Of course, at work, Mrs. K showed no signs of disgust towards me during the day. And I never got that "result"....not that I was expecting to. We went to our classes and she sat in the back giving the listening test.
But I did my darndest to rock up the class and talk with excitement, move my arms and laugh...whatever it took to show I gave a shit. I don't want to amp up my classes to please her but do it for the kids. Of course I agree with her teaching philosophy but you know you can't insult someone thoroughly and then tell them to go teach classes with a positive chipper attitude. Yet that is what I did today. Playing the insane fool was kind of fun.
I know Mrs. K is freaking out and taking things too far. I also know that I will never really be able to please her. But I am going to keep on teaching until they fire me or my contract ends, and then we will see what comes next. By the way, Mrs. K is only at my school for one semester and then the Teacher dude comes back.
One last thing... I also feel somewhat shocked by all this. For a while there I was really getting along with Mrs. K, talking to her, laughing, sharing about my boyfriend and American life. One afternoon I knew JH was coming to my house so I invited her to swing by and meet him. I honestly thought all was well on this front. I guess she just snapped when I made the mistake on Wednesday. I want her to forgive me but I want her to know that she needs to be forgiven as well.
Well there you have it another post about the casualties of teaching life here in Korea. Last night I seriously thought to myself maybe it is time to pack up and leave. Go back to my poor life in San Francisco, maybe go back to school and get a Masters in something. Shop at thrift stores and only spend my money on groceries. Oh the good old days.
Of course I talk about these troubles with JH, even cry deeply over it with him on the phone. He is comforting but there is a cultural line that he struggles to cross. Yet as long as he is willing to understand and help lift my spirits I will take that.
To anyone else struggling with these issues here in Korea or ever experience your supervisor telling you that you are not a good teacher. Just take it in one ear and don't let it go up to your brain. The point I am trying to make is that do what you can, and don't give up.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Things I Can't Get Mad About
How do you deal with work related stress? I for one have had days where I deal with it in a very nonconstructive way and I end up making myself look bad.
Since my new coteacher is a no nonsense kind of lady, who for example gets upset when I do anything not in line with the Korean way. For example: She wonders why I ask her "Why should I sign this?" when she puts a document in front of me and just says, "This is for the school, sign this." It is my impression that the Korean way is to just sign it and don't ask why. Since the document is in Korean and she gives no verbal explanation I usually always ask what it is it for. Turns out this ticks her off.
Needless to say things get frustrating at work when little nuances like that build up. This time around I want to find ways to release my stress and understand my anger to prevent it from blowing up.
I decided that I would make a list of the things I can't get mad about here at work. The reason for the title is because if I do get mad about them then I usually end up with a hot temper and the inability to see clearly. I figured if I were to write a list I could study these things and figure out ways to overcome them peacefully.
In addition, I also added a list of things to appreciate, so to have a certain kind of positive perspective on it all.
I just finished writing the lists and will post them below. Some of the things will be obvious pet peeves while others are occurrences I need to work on.
Here we go:
Since my new coteacher is a no nonsense kind of lady, who for example gets upset when I do anything not in line with the Korean way. For example: She wonders why I ask her "Why should I sign this?" when she puts a document in front of me and just says, "This is for the school, sign this." It is my impression that the Korean way is to just sign it and don't ask why. Since the document is in Korean and she gives no verbal explanation I usually always ask what it is it for. Turns out this ticks her off.
Needless to say things get frustrating at work when little nuances like that build up. This time around I want to find ways to release my stress and understand my anger to prevent it from blowing up.
I decided that I would make a list of the things I can't get mad about here at work. The reason for the title is because if I do get mad about them then I usually end up with a hot temper and the inability to see clearly. I figured if I were to write a list I could study these things and figure out ways to overcome them peacefully.
In addition, I also added a list of things to appreciate, so to have a certain kind of positive perspective on it all.
I just finished writing the lists and will post them below. Some of the things will be obvious pet peeves while others are occurrences I need to work on.
Here we go:
Things I Can’t Get Mad About:
1. Being an English Puppet: Not having control of the class and just saying the expressions. Doing whatever they tell me to do no matter my opinion or experience.
2. Being told my prepared materials are not low level enough.
3. Being treated like I am a little girl.
4. People constantly asking me if I can eat Korean food even though they know I have lived here nearly 2 years. People bugging me about my food selection choices at lunch time.
5. Not having my opinion fully understood or listened to.
6. Working hard but having all my faults be scrutinized and not balanced out towards all the good I do.
7. Ms. Y not communicating at all to me about the classes we teach. Her getting upset when I make a mistake in class because she didn’t tell me about their level or experience. Ms. Y ignoring my presence.
8. Not being told ahead of time of event changes or occurrences. Not being told about anything going on in school and the English department.
9. Being told to teach in “Fun and Active” way by the Principal but realizing it’s incredibly difficult with such coteachers who are not “fun and active” themselves.
10. Caring too much about the job.
11. Communication being difficult. I want to express my ideas but know that they will get shot down. I want to express my opinions about certain matters but know that they will not be heard.
12. Having to deal with everything on our own since there is a lack in consulting between the Korean co teacher and native teacher.
13. Knowing the children are bored in class but feeling powerless to change that.
14. Knowing that there are better and more effective ways of teaching English to Korean children but having my ideas rejected and not even tried out.
Things to appreciate:
1. I haven’t been fired for being a sensitive over reactive person.
2. I get paid to be an English puppet.
3. Within the limits I can find ways to have fun with the children.
4. Having fun with the children.
5. Having hope.
6. My house is free.
7. I have health insurance.
8. Whenever I happen to be able to teach most of the class or help more.
9. Random days off or being randomly let home early.
10. Knowing the students learn something new in English and because I helped them.
11. Anytime my co teachers and I communicate well.
11. Anytime my co teachers and I communicate well.
I really wish I had more positive ones up there. I wanted to say something about success in my relationships with my colleagues but didn't know how to word it.
Looking back on the list I realize not all of them make me get so hot and bothered. I suppose the real issues lie in my personal feelings about everything and whether or not I am adult enough to handle it.
Looking back on the list I realize not all of them make me get so hot and bothered. I suppose the real issues lie in my personal feelings about everything and whether or not I am adult enough to handle it.
What do you do to handle work related stress? Thanks!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
DMZ: Sobering Tour
Folks boarded the bus, mostly families and couples. There were a few Grandma and Grandpa types who when walked on the bus had a bright beaming smile on their faces. I wondered was this perhaps their first tour around the DMZ? Were they proud to be going on the trip? As I thought about this I watched as the bus filled up and noticed some folks brought along those transitory snacks, like roasted corn, for the ride. This puzzled me as I wondered why people would bring snacks to view something that symbolizes so much horror. I guess they figured they would finish it by the time they got to wherever we were going.
Really, however, getting on the bus meant I was going to get closer to the DMZ border and I didn't really know what we were going to see.
The bus was finally full of passengers and we took off. I noticed that at the front of the bus was a tourist group from China, since the group's interpreter sat facing them giving instructions and info in Chinese.
We got to a bridge checkpoint and waited in line, during which time I watched cars in the nearby lane. Some were allowed pass the checkpoint, while others made a U-Turn and went back. JH told me that if they didn't have authorization than they can't go forward. He said he tried a similar thing years ago just to get close enough by car.
The ery and intriguing part about the checkpoint were the armed guards. In all my life, besides one time being busted by cops with a group of friends in high school, have I been so close to guns. At that time the cops just had a gun secured on their belt while they questioned us. But at this time, I was close to heavy-duty guns. I am no fan of guns and am grateful Korea outlaws ownership. Certainly the sight of armed men and barbed wire set me up for the fact we were seeing a very secured space in Korea.
At the checkpoint an unarmed soldier came on board to check our ID's. Then once we got the okay the bus crossed the bridge, which was littered with blockades. The blockades were set up in a way that the bus had to maneuver in a zig-zag formation, and I guess the bus driver was use to it and probably had a bit of fun going through.
Once we crossed the bridge the bus traveled up a hillside heading towards the Dora Observatory.
Dora Observatory:
On the way up to the observatory the bus driver was talking to us (in Korean) about the place we were going. JH caught me up before we got off the bus, and so I figured that we were going to an observation deck where we can look out over the DMZ and North Korea. So as we disembarked the bus and made our way up to the platform I couldn't help but wonder what North Korea would look like.
Situated on top of Dorasan (Mount Dora, 37°54′53″N 126°42′31″E / 37.91472°N 126.70861°E), the observatory looks across the Demilitarized Zone. It is the part of South Korea closest to the North. Visitors can catch a rare glimpse of the reclusive North Korean state through binoculars from the 304 square feet, 500-person capacity observatory. They will be able to see the North Korean propaganda village situated in the DMZ, a remnant of the old prosperity of the North, and can see as far as the city of Kaesong.
Once you get to the viewing platform you are greated with a horizontal line of people looking out over the wall, while others look through binoculars. Walking up to the edge of the wall, to look out, I was overwhelmed. And then as I gazed out I couldn't help but take in the seeping desolate feeling of it all. For with the combination of the history, mist and undeveloped land that I saw before my eyes, the view was spooky and sad. This was a sobering moment for me as I realized the importance of the DMZ and its current state.
Because this border was created between the two Koreas the land that occupies this demarcation has been left untouch by developers. Thus a rich and thriving natural refuge exists for some rare and native species. This became extremely evident when I saw an eagle soar past us.
From that experience we moved onto the building adjacent the observatory deck, where inside was a model that outlined what is in the view.
Before this I was taking a picture of the view when one of the soldiers came to me and said "NO PICTURES!". I immediately erased the picture. I wasn't the only fool to make this mistake as I saw others get caught. Apparently there was a line at which point past it you couldn't take photos. I know a few of you complain about my lawless photo taking so I chose this time to be a good girl. But it also frightened me and after this I took fewer photos of the places we went to.
The 3rd Tunnel:
In a war if a wall is built and you can't go through it or over it the next logical step would to build tunnels that go under it. This was North Korea's plan at the time when both sides were giving peace talks.
But the South were wary to the tunnel digging and over time discovered several tunnels. One of which was the 3rd tunnel which was available for touring.North Korea began digging tunnels under the DMZ at the same time that the South and the North first launched peace talks in 1974. According to intelligence analysis, it is believed that North Korea began digging the tunnels after Kim Il-sung (North Korea's President) issued the September 25 Combat Readiness Order in 1971. In this order, he stressed the need to dig tunnels under the Demilitarized Zone, saying that one tunnel would be more effective than 10 atomic bombs and would thus be the best means to overwhelm the heavily fortified front.
We got on the bus again and headed to the location of the 3rd tunnel. After getting off we followed everyone to the tunnel's entrance building. Here we all sat and watched as a tour guide spoke about the tunnel's history and guidlines to viewing it. (In Korean). JH again filled me on what he said and what to expect. We lined up at the entrance and walking past some shelves grabbed a yellow hard hat and put it on.
The way one see's the third tunnel is by walking down a vertical shaft that links up with the actual cave-like tunnel that was created by the North Koreans. It is a steep decline down into the depths of the earth. If one were claustrophobic they would have a hard time with this. As one goes further down the air changes to that of a mineral rich type.
Soon enough you finish the vertical drop and come to a flat walking platform that you follow through the tunnel. Everything is lit up from ultra-bright lamps and walkway lights. You realize soon how handy the hard-hat is as the height of the tunnel narrows on just being 5ft tall, and in some places below that. As you walk through, following diligently the people in front of you, others pass by you on the left. It felt as if the tunnel had no end. Along the way are placards on the sides of the cave giving out pieces of information, both in Korean and English.
From reading the placards I learned that the tunnel was coated in charcoal to make it look like they were merely only mining. Other information included the demarcation of dynamite holes with yellow paint and other facts about the tunnel.
It penetrates 435 meters south of the Military Demarcation Line at a point 4 kilometers south of Panmunjeom, running through bedrock at a depth of about 73 meters below ground. Capable of moving a full division (plus their weapons) per hour, it was evidently designed for a surprise attack on Seoul. This tunnel is only 2 kilometers from a key outpost defending the Munsan corridor leading to Seoul.
Initial efforts to discover the tunnel failed until June 10, 1978, when an excavation hole was exploded, they started to dig a counter-tunnel which later reached the North's tunnel on October 17, 1978.
Finally, one comes to the end of the tunnel, which is really the blockade created by the South Korean army. Basically the tunnel stops at a thick concrete wall with a tiny locked door on it. You look around and note from the sign that this is just one of three concrete blockades. To me it symbolized how strongly people want to prevent war and keep enemies out.
You turn around and head back to the exit / entrance shaft. I have to admit that I took in small amounts of pleasure from being inside the tunnel and it's exposed granite walls. Some small positive present from the war's creations. Yet at the same time I couldn't help but consider the hard work it must have been to create such a tunnel considering how hard a rock granite is. I only concluded that the North Koreans were very determined.
Heading back up the shaft I was out of breath when I got to the top. We joined up with the group and headed outside for some fresh air. At which point we saw people taking their picture with some statues and so decided to do the same.
Dorasan Station:
We got back on the bus and headed to another location, this time it was Dorasan train station. The bus driver made jokes about how all the buildings around the station are empty. It turns out the station is waiting to be used until there is peace between the nations. For a while there a few years ago freight trains went past the station but nowadays that is no longer happening. It is basically a place open to tourists, with a little souvenir shop inside.
It was very squeeky clean inside and kind of gave off that "ghost town" vibe. Looking through a glass wall you could see the hopes of the station where a security check point is set up to check passengers and their baggage. The place was ready for the first signs of users but when that day will come...who knows?
DMZ Tofu:
The last leg of the tour was a stop at a local tofu restaurant set up for tourists. It was the local tofu speciality that was fresh and came with fermented kimchi. It was very delicious and a natural and fresh way to digest all that one had seen on the tour.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Readjustments
Public schools are not free of stress or frustrations. In comparison to hagwons I think the job itself is a whole lot different. Sure you are teaching English to kids but the goals of your superiors are different.
What I am talking about really here is how one's idea of how and what to teach often times is very different from the opinions of your coteacher. This is a good example of eastern thought clashing with western thought.
At my last school the mix was like water and oil, meaning we didn't get along. I gave up really and focused on the advanced class, which I was left to my own design. Now at my new school when I try to explain my opinion of why I want to teach selected materials I seem to get a lot of criticism.
Recruiters like to tell you that every public school is the same, and I think they are making this assumption based on the fact that at every elementary school the curriculum is the same. But not every public school is equal.
It comes down to their interpretation of how English should be taught, and there is no changing it. I guess that I still haven't adjusted well to the Korean education system since I find myself up against a wall this time.
Here's the situation:
Winter camp is next month and so all the preparations need to be squared away. I have experience teaching 4 camp sessions, so I know what it is like. Or I think I know...
I will teach 4th and 6th graders while the other foreign teacher will teach 3rd and 5th grades. We will both teach the same subjects such as "World Culture" and "Sports Day."
The situation I walked into was that the previous teachers made a plan for winter camp but it was very lean and needed more. So I added more to it using stuff from last year.
The problem came today when my coteacher checked it and made the remark that my materials were too difficult for 3rd and 4th grades. There were a few worksheets with sentences and maps on it. I didn't make the material but was borrowing it.
Immediately I tried to explain to her that it doesn't matter what material you use as long as the teacher adjusts the way they teach. Meaning I was handed these same materials last year and said "Go~". So I learned to adjust myself to the students and not adjust the materials. This is a teaching method and philosophy I picked up from experience. Last year at mountain winter camp I used the same materials for the lower grades and it came out fine. They spoke, had fun and learned a thing or two.
But she frowned and said "No." At that point I did the thing that I should not be doing anymore, which is I got upset and took it personally. You would think I have learned by now.
Needless to say I tried to defend my understanding of how to be a teacher. Yet she stood her ground with what she thinks how English should be taught.
In the end, you have to yield to what they want. You are in Korea and it is their court. Logically you would think that they would try to understand where you are coming from but it is more that they want you to adjust to their ways.
So as you can see I need to readjust myself and create an image that they will be pleased with.
How to make this a positive experience:
It is my opinion that I need to stop thinking that they will someday understand it all from my perspective.
I have the choice of just giving up and becoming a non-creative and robotic teacher who doesn't care anymore. Or I could adjust to their ideals, yet find a way to be creative and still teach the "Joy" way.
In other words I understand where my coteacher is coming from. She demands that English be taught to the children with the goal that they speak. So speaking is a priority of theirs. That means my lessons should cater towards speaking as an objective.
They want to teach by talking slowly and clearly, as she put it "This is the most important thing." At first it was a little insulting to hear her ask this of me since I already do this. But I guess she wants to make sure.
An Example of Teaching Differences:
I made the mistake this week of giving out to my 2nd graders "The Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" song lyrics with Korean next to it. My coteacher and the Korean 2nd grade teachers complained it was too hard for their students.
From my point of view I wanted to teach them the festive holiday song that was accompanied by a fun video. At my old school a similar method was used to learn a song. First you read the words and get use to them. Then you sing the song over and over till you know it.
My coteacher told me that it was too hard for them and suggested instead to focus on teaching them only a few sentences. And to repeat it over and over again. Not from the song, cut that out, but teach them a sentence like "The reindeer is brown" and make a lesson out of that. (You can do it like this: The____ is _____)
Initially, after hearing this I felt as if she wanted me to just be some kind of English Robot babysitter. Then I have thought about it some more and realized that her method is valid.
They are English Foreign Language students and should learn in a simple and easy format. This doesn't mean that my lessons have to be boring or that I as the teacher will end up looking like an English robot. It means I can make fun games and activities to help them reinforce those one sentences they are learning.
Readjustment Realization:
What I am trying to point out here is that I need to change and not them. As a westerner and independent woman this is something that is very hard.
But I know what happens when you don't adjust to what they want, and I don't want that to happen again. I want my coteacher to see me as useful, smart and a darn good teacher.
And so I started to think some more and realized that teaching is not only about relating content and how to say English words, but it involves catering to Multiple Intelligences.
I know they want me to plan for their level, but what about their intelligence? For example, some students may respond well to listen and repeat. While other students need more hands on activities like a craft or role play game.
What I wish I could do is talk to my coteacher about this teaching method and have a lovely conversation. But I am learning now that my coteacher is an older stubborn woman set in her ways. I respect that and so understand there is no point trying to shake up her roots.
Instead I will just plan my classes to teach them to speak a certain phrase or words but use materials and methods that will cater to different intelligences, without her really knowing that is what I am doing.
I feel like I am the only teacher out here who takes their job too seriously (but who knows). Wish I could be the teacher who just goes through it all without really caring and then hitting the bars in the evening. But unfortunately my nature won't let me do that. Yet I am sure I could try to take it a little less seriously~
Well I feel good for getting that out. My other foreign coworker talked to me on the way home about how she is dealing with the same things. I have to say I was skeptical about our relationship at first but now I am seeing that we have a lot in common. I hope we help each other out more ;)
What I am talking about really here is how one's idea of how and what to teach often times is very different from the opinions of your coteacher. This is a good example of eastern thought clashing with western thought.
At my last school the mix was like water and oil, meaning we didn't get along. I gave up really and focused on the advanced class, which I was left to my own design. Now at my new school when I try to explain my opinion of why I want to teach selected materials I seem to get a lot of criticism.
Recruiters like to tell you that every public school is the same, and I think they are making this assumption based on the fact that at every elementary school the curriculum is the same. But not every public school is equal.
It comes down to their interpretation of how English should be taught, and there is no changing it. I guess that I still haven't adjusted well to the Korean education system since I find myself up against a wall this time.
Here's the situation:
Winter camp is next month and so all the preparations need to be squared away. I have experience teaching 4 camp sessions, so I know what it is like. Or I think I know...
I will teach 4th and 6th graders while the other foreign teacher will teach 3rd and 5th grades. We will both teach the same subjects such as "World Culture" and "Sports Day."
The situation I walked into was that the previous teachers made a plan for winter camp but it was very lean and needed more. So I added more to it using stuff from last year.
The problem came today when my coteacher checked it and made the remark that my materials were too difficult for 3rd and 4th grades. There were a few worksheets with sentences and maps on it. I didn't make the material but was borrowing it.
Immediately I tried to explain to her that it doesn't matter what material you use as long as the teacher adjusts the way they teach. Meaning I was handed these same materials last year and said "Go~". So I learned to adjust myself to the students and not adjust the materials. This is a teaching method and philosophy I picked up from experience. Last year at mountain winter camp I used the same materials for the lower grades and it came out fine. They spoke, had fun and learned a thing or two.
But she frowned and said "No." At that point I did the thing that I should not be doing anymore, which is I got upset and took it personally. You would think I have learned by now.
Needless to say I tried to defend my understanding of how to be a teacher. Yet she stood her ground with what she thinks how English should be taught.
In the end, you have to yield to what they want. You are in Korea and it is their court. Logically you would think that they would try to understand where you are coming from but it is more that they want you to adjust to their ways.
So as you can see I need to readjust myself and create an image that they will be pleased with.
How to make this a positive experience:
It is my opinion that I need to stop thinking that they will someday understand it all from my perspective.
I have the choice of just giving up and becoming a non-creative and robotic teacher who doesn't care anymore. Or I could adjust to their ideals, yet find a way to be creative and still teach the "Joy" way.
In other words I understand where my coteacher is coming from. She demands that English be taught to the children with the goal that they speak. So speaking is a priority of theirs. That means my lessons should cater towards speaking as an objective.
They want to teach by talking slowly and clearly, as she put it "This is the most important thing." At first it was a little insulting to hear her ask this of me since I already do this. But I guess she wants to make sure.
An Example of Teaching Differences:
I made the mistake this week of giving out to my 2nd graders "The Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" song lyrics with Korean next to it. My coteacher and the Korean 2nd grade teachers complained it was too hard for their students.
From my point of view I wanted to teach them the festive holiday song that was accompanied by a fun video. At my old school a similar method was used to learn a song. First you read the words and get use to them. Then you sing the song over and over till you know it.
My coteacher told me that it was too hard for them and suggested instead to focus on teaching them only a few sentences. And to repeat it over and over again. Not from the song, cut that out, but teach them a sentence like "The reindeer is brown" and make a lesson out of that. (You can do it like this: The____ is _____)
Initially, after hearing this I felt as if she wanted me to just be some kind of English Robot babysitter. Then I have thought about it some more and realized that her method is valid.
They are English Foreign Language students and should learn in a simple and easy format. This doesn't mean that my lessons have to be boring or that I as the teacher will end up looking like an English robot. It means I can make fun games and activities to help them reinforce those one sentences they are learning.
Readjustment Realization:
What I am trying to point out here is that I need to change and not them. As a westerner and independent woman this is something that is very hard.
But I know what happens when you don't adjust to what they want, and I don't want that to happen again. I want my coteacher to see me as useful, smart and a darn good teacher.
And so I started to think some more and realized that teaching is not only about relating content and how to say English words, but it involves catering to Multiple Intelligences.
I know they want me to plan for their level, but what about their intelligence? For example, some students may respond well to listen and repeat. While other students need more hands on activities like a craft or role play game.
What I wish I could do is talk to my coteacher about this teaching method and have a lovely conversation. But I am learning now that my coteacher is an older stubborn woman set in her ways. I respect that and so understand there is no point trying to shake up her roots.
Instead I will just plan my classes to teach them to speak a certain phrase or words but use materials and methods that will cater to different intelligences, without her really knowing that is what I am doing.
I feel like I am the only teacher out here who takes their job too seriously (but who knows). Wish I could be the teacher who just goes through it all without really caring and then hitting the bars in the evening. But unfortunately my nature won't let me do that. Yet I am sure I could try to take it a little less seriously~
Well I feel good for getting that out. My other foreign coworker talked to me on the way home about how she is dealing with the same things. I have to say I was skeptical about our relationship at first but now I am seeing that we have a lot in common. I hope we help each other out more ;)
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Accents and Qualifications
I don't know if you guys noticed but I tend to shy away from blogging about the controversial topics affecting the expat community. That doesn't mean I don't have an opinion, it's just that I find myself at odds with those around me.
For one I don't really want to talk about stuff I know nothing about, and two it seems most people wright with fear as their reaction. After I read through several blogs that are mashing up the hot topics I start to believe that my job is doomed and that I am a worthless teacher. I don't know why but there seems to be this mania out there that makes my head spin. Yet I can't pull away from it.
And now there is the new controversial topic of the Education Ministry hiring 100 Indian (From India) English teachers.
Right away the Chosun Bimbo asks:
And then things spiral into that they reported the motive to hire Indian teachers is because the NEST's from the other countries have been deemed mostly as "unqualified."
But if they are going to pay any individual less for teaching English out here than of course this comes as an omen to what may come. Chosun Bimbo says:
And who knows then maybe local governments will start to think about it this way: Why are we paying these western country kids more money than the Eastern Asian folks? We should revise the pay scale so that it is equal.
Wait I know!!!! Why don't we just pay everyone what they are worth! (But what are we worth?)
As you can see this little bit of news caused a big splash in the expat pond.
And of course many can't help but feel that Indian teachers would logical be undesirable due to their accent.
This gets my head spinning and I hate to sound idealist but this is just wrong and unfair. I believe that teaching EFL effectively has no correlation with one's accent.
Accent is only a marker of one's origins. So folks if you have some time check out this NPR Talk of the Nation radio show. It is about how English travels and what defines our accents.
Here for you are some short quotes:
I wrote on Chris's comment board that perhaps with this influx of Indians it might help a xenophobic Korea change and give non-white people a chance for better treatment.
**Three posts in one day ~ ><**
For one I don't really want to talk about stuff I know nothing about, and two it seems most people wright with fear as their reaction. After I read through several blogs that are mashing up the hot topics I start to believe that my job is doomed and that I am a worthless teacher. I don't know why but there seems to be this mania out there that makes my head spin. Yet I can't pull away from it.
And now there is the new controversial topic of the Education Ministry hiring 100 Indian (From India) English teachers.
Right away the Chosun Bimbo asks:
Are jobs for NESTs from "The Big 7" being outsourced to India?Which is fine to ask really. Sure this is what it sounds like, perhaps 100 of those jobs would of gone to a NEST from a country other than India.
And then things spiral into that they reported the motive to hire Indian teachers is because the NEST's from the other countries have been deemed mostly as "unqualified."
But if they are going to pay any individual less for teaching English out here than of course this comes as an omen to what may come. Chosun Bimbo says:
Hmmmmm. To be honest that would probably be the best thing for Korea. But the reality is something completely different. The first thing that comes to mind is about wages. Initially I can see English teacher pay taking a nose dive in the face of South Asian teachers willing to teach for considerably less and who are probably more inclined to live together (In smaller apartments) than there American, Canadian, British, Australian, South African and New Zealander counterparts.My reaction to this is that I can't help but see the person in charge thinking to themselves: If I hire the Indian teacher we won't have to pay as much as hiring the Canadian, America, South African...etc...teacher.
And who knows then maybe local governments will start to think about it this way: Why are we paying these western country kids more money than the Eastern Asian folks? We should revise the pay scale so that it is equal.
Wait I know!!!! Why don't we just pay everyone what they are worth! (But what are we worth?)
As you can see this little bit of news caused a big splash in the expat pond.
And of course many can't help but feel that Indian teachers would logical be undesirable due to their accent.
This gets my head spinning and I hate to sound idealist but this is just wrong and unfair. I believe that teaching EFL effectively has no correlation with one's accent.
Accent is only a marker of one's origins. So folks if you have some time check out this NPR Talk of the Nation radio show. It is about how English travels and what defines our accents.
Here for you are some short quotes:
In the end folks is there any way to think about all this in a positive way? When the government meddles with our job sector does it always have to mean doom?CONAN: And to begin with, how do you define your accent?
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. CRYSTAL: I wish I could. Well, you know, an accent reflects where you've been, where you've been brought up. And most people these days don't spend their whole lives in one place. So, whereas once upon a time it was quite easy to almost predict where somebody had come from just by listening to them, you listen to somebody like me and what you hear in this voice you're hearing now is the first 10 years of my life living in Wales - living in Wales it would have been that sort of accent then. And then the next 10 years of my life living in Liverpool, well, everybody knows the Beatles. The Beatles accent, you know. And there was that sort of accent mixed in with it. And then I lived for 20 years down in the south of England and there was a kind of, you know, southern accent that came on top of the other two. And they've all mixed together to produce what you're hearing now.
I wrote on Chris's comment board that perhaps with this influx of Indians it might help a xenophobic Korea change and give non-white people a chance for better treatment.
**Three posts in one day ~ ><**
Monday, November 2, 2009
Moved Out / In
Moving out was interesting, because I learned that I have a lot of stuff. How much? Four car loads worth! How the heck did I end up with so much stuff and where I am going to put it in my new place? So far my plan is to either throw out or give away a lot of stuff when I move again or store it somewhere for the future.
The man who helped me out during all this was JH. Boy was he a trooper, and somehow all my stuff is stored at his house in their storage space.Saturday night I moved into the Goshiwon and I have to say I was really tired but also perplexed at how I was going to live in such a small space.
This is the street where the Goshiwon is located. I am in the Konkuk University area just a street up near the Children's Grand Park.
The place is called the "F. House".
Never mind the fact that in the basement is a business room...yes look past this please.
The goshiwon is very pretty inside and is also nice and clean.I am going to make a video soon to show you a "walk through" of the goshiwon.
You come up these stairs to where the rooms are located.
This will be just a short rendition as the video will provide more of a peek into the whole place. Down this hallway is the door to my room.
You enter my room through a keypad electronic door mechanism.
This is it folks all the space one needs for one month in Seoul. I have to say I kind of wish I spent more time on looking for a goshiwon with more space (of course you had to pay a lot).So where you see the drying rack there is the only open space. Next to the drying rack is the shower unit which is closed in via a glass box. I could put the drying rack on the roof but I don't want to take any chances with a random rain shower.
Yes the bed is nice and cozy mostly because I doubled up my winter blanket to act as a mattress pad.
Here is the desk area where there was a TV situated on top, but I wasn't really using it so I tucked it underneath. Also you can see a mini-frig. There is a shared kitchen where you can store stuff in a larger frig.
Yes that is a real window there people. I have a lovely view of a brick wall but I think since these days are getting colder I won't have the window open too wide. Oh I would like to remark that I brought in my own lamp. I can't stand fluorescent lighting~
The place is quiet with I think mostly gals living in the other rooms. Although there is a major road nearby so I get to hear the traffic from that.There were a few issues I had to get fixed yesterday before feeling completely comfortable in here. One, the shower drain was extremely clogged. Solution: Got the Ahjumma to clean it. Two, needed something to store my personal dishes. Fixed it by going to Emart. And basically had to organize my stuff and put it all in logical spaces.
Yesterday JH took me around the Children's Grand Park (pictures and story to come) and we had a jolly good time. Funny story too about something that happened yesterday.
Well of course I don't want to spend all my time in this closet but it sure is darn cold today. However, I need to get photos for my new job documents and get them mailed off. So I do have some work to get done.
Monday, September 28, 2009
1st Birthdays in Korea
It is story time now here at Foreign/er Joy. Last Saturday, as you know, I attended the Mass Freeze at COEX, which was a lot of fun. Afterward my friends and I went to On The Border for lunch. JH was on his way from work.
Sitting at the table I felt a little alone and left out. I was at the far end of the table with my friends sitting further away. Lately, I have been contemplating a lot about my friendships here and how I wish I had just one friend that is dear to me. Since, I am moving soon all these pals that I have met locally will soon become long-distance pals.
JH arrived at COEX but was lost for a little bit and I helped him find his way. We ate and watched everyone play together at the table. I am sure if I made the effort I could have been included, but sometimes I like to see if I will 'naturally' be a part of the group. I think that there was a really large group of us and once it gets past 4 people it's hard to keep track of what's going on.
We had to leave the fun times early because JH was invited to one of his long time friend's daughter's birthday. This was going to be one of those "First" birthday's in Korea. Actually I am not sure since the message I got from JH was kind of mixed. I am pretty sure it wasn't the 100 day bday thing because the baby didn't appear 100 days old.
But I think it was her actual 2nd birthday. Here is some information on traditional birthday celebrations in Korea:
We picked up one of his friends along the way who kept quiet on the car ride to a place outside the area of Guri. (Northeast of Seoul)
Arriving, we went up an elevator to a catering hall. There were tables with white tablecloths and plates on top. At the front of the room was a ceremonial table set up with balloons, ttoek (Korean rice cakes) and gifts. This was meant for the ceremonies performed during the event.
But first it was chow time, which was carried out by a buffet. Unfortunately, since I had eaten my lunch at On the Border I wasn't too hungry. But that's okay the fair of food was mostly Korean stuff. So I picked up desserts and fruit. However, I had one of those foreigner-dining-with-Koreans moment where the people sitting next to us commented on what I chose to eat.
"No rice?" I heard.
This caused my blood pressure to rise as I was not in the mood to deal with this situation. But I know these are JH's close friends so I didn't want to cause unpleasantness. I tried to stay warm and friendly despite feeling like the "elephant" in the room.
Not much was going on as people ate and talked, so I snuck out for a few minutes and got a cup of tea at a coffee shop outside. JH called me and I came back to the dining hall.
It was time for the ceremonial toljabee:
They placed the baby on the table and displayed the tokens to everyone. The MC asked the parents what they wish their daughter would pick. The father said "money" and the mother said "stethoscope". Actually, the selection for the baby didn't include all those items listed about but did include a stethoscope which means the kid would become a doctor. Guess which one the baby picked?
The stethoscope, which I feel was due to that it was a toy stethoscope and was brightly colored. But who knows maybe it is fate.
After this event there was a raffle prize give away. The MC was talking and the parents were enjoying the show. The next thing I know the MC was calling out "wai Guk in" (foreigner). And I suddenly became the center of attention.
Apparently, they were giving out gifts to those who came the farthest distance to see their baby's birthday. Since coming overseas trumps any Koreans national travels I got the prize. However I didn't really know this was going on and instead went along with it. I was called up to the front to answer where I was from and receive the gift.
JH told me I was blushing so much, indeed I was embarrassed and overwhelmed. But in a good way, for this really helped me warm up to being with all Koreans. After that I felt a little ashamed for my attitude earlier and determined that next time I should engage more and make the most of these situations.
Guess what was the gift? Ramyeon! haha
We left shortly after this and going home I couldn't help but feel as if my spirits were lifted for life in Korea. Thank you JH for including me in this special occasion.
Sitting at the table I felt a little alone and left out. I was at the far end of the table with my friends sitting further away. Lately, I have been contemplating a lot about my friendships here and how I wish I had just one friend that is dear to me. Since, I am moving soon all these pals that I have met locally will soon become long-distance pals.
JH arrived at COEX but was lost for a little bit and I helped him find his way. We ate and watched everyone play together at the table. I am sure if I made the effort I could have been included, but sometimes I like to see if I will 'naturally' be a part of the group. I think that there was a really large group of us and once it gets past 4 people it's hard to keep track of what's going on.
We had to leave the fun times early because JH was invited to one of his long time friend's daughter's birthday. This was going to be one of those "First" birthday's in Korea. Actually I am not sure since the message I got from JH was kind of mixed. I am pretty sure it wasn't the 100 day bday thing because the baby didn't appear 100 days old.
But I think it was her actual 2nd birthday. Here is some information on traditional birthday celebrations in Korea:
Tol has two meanings in Korean. The most common meaning is a child's first birthday. It can also be used as a generic description for birthdays: Chut-tol (first birthday), Du-tol (second birthday), Seo-tol (third birthday), etc.In my mind I was expecting some kind of party with me being the only-foreigner-type-situation. So on our way I felt the dread of having to encounter this situation. I had to transition from being with a group of foreigners to going back to being with a group of all Koreans.
We picked up one of his friends along the way who kept quiet on the car ride to a place outside the area of Guri. (Northeast of Seoul)
Arriving, we went up an elevator to a catering hall. There were tables with white tablecloths and plates on top. At the front of the room was a ceremonial table set up with balloons, ttoek (Korean rice cakes) and gifts. This was meant for the ceremonies performed during the event.
But first it was chow time, which was carried out by a buffet. Unfortunately, since I had eaten my lunch at On the Border I wasn't too hungry. But that's okay the fair of food was mostly Korean stuff. So I picked up desserts and fruit. However, I had one of those foreigner-dining-with-Koreans moment where the people sitting next to us commented on what I chose to eat.
"No rice?" I heard.
This caused my blood pressure to rise as I was not in the mood to deal with this situation. But I know these are JH's close friends so I didn't want to cause unpleasantness. I tried to stay warm and friendly despite feeling like the "elephant" in the room.
Not much was going on as people ate and talked, so I snuck out for a few minutes and got a cup of tea at a coffee shop outside. JH called me and I came back to the dining hall.
It was time for the ceremonial toljabee:
In this event, the birthday child goes around the table and picks up items that attract him or her. The child's future is predicted according to the what he or she grabs. After placing the child in front of the table, the child's father becomes the guide for the child to go around the table and grab whatever he or she wants. The first and second items the child grabs are considered the most important. Usually Korean parents place the items that they want the child to choose near to the edge of the table. The child's future is predicted according to the items:I was excited to see this in person, since I had only heard about it before then. As the family prepared this and spoke some words I asked JH what he grabbed when he had this ceremony. He didn't know so he called his mom. She told him he grabbed the thread (long life). I thought that was a good sign.
-bow and arrow: the child will become a warrior
-needle and thread: the child will live long
-jujube: the child will have many descendants
-book, pencil, or related items: the child will become a successful scholar
-rice or rice cake: the child will become rich (some resources say choosing a rice cake means the child is not smart)
-ruler, needle, scissors: the child will be talented with his/her hands
-knife: the child will be a good cook
- Money
They placed the baby on the table and displayed the tokens to everyone. The MC asked the parents what they wish their daughter would pick. The father said "money" and the mother said "stethoscope". Actually, the selection for the baby didn't include all those items listed about but did include a stethoscope which means the kid would become a doctor. Guess which one the baby picked?
The stethoscope, which I feel was due to that it was a toy stethoscope and was brightly colored. But who knows maybe it is fate.
After this event there was a raffle prize give away. The MC was talking and the parents were enjoying the show. The next thing I know the MC was calling out "wai Guk in" (foreigner). And I suddenly became the center of attention.
Apparently, they were giving out gifts to those who came the farthest distance to see their baby's birthday. Since coming overseas trumps any Koreans national travels I got the prize. However I didn't really know this was going on and instead went along with it. I was called up to the front to answer where I was from and receive the gift.
JH told me I was blushing so much, indeed I was embarrassed and overwhelmed. But in a good way, for this really helped me warm up to being with all Koreans. After that I felt a little ashamed for my attitude earlier and determined that next time I should engage more and make the most of these situations.
Guess what was the gift? Ramyeon! haha
We left shortly after this and going home I couldn't help but feel as if my spirits were lifted for life in Korea. Thank you JH for including me in this special occasion.
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