The Why

Why leave this land that has so many wonders and where I have discovered a culture rich in beauty and taste?

My time in Korea, for the most part, was focused on a certain set of tracks. Those led by the fact that I was dating a Korean and we were getting serious. I thought that my life was headed down towards marriage and forming a family in Korea. It was something I was willing to accept and go through with, coming with the price of leaving America and my family behind. Intertwined with this was my love for the country, exploring and being involved in the art scene. But then last year these tracks suddenly stopped, I broke up with my boyfriend. Since I was heading down those tracks I tried to keep the momentum going, hoping I would find a new lover along the way. However, it seemed as hard as I tried life just wasn't going to deal me those cards.

Around the beginning of this last summer, as I found myself defeated again, I sat back and asked myself, "Where am I going in Korea? What am I doing here?" I began to see that trying to continue the personal path I was on before was becoming fruitless, yet my energy and love towards teaching had never waned. I also considered what is left for me here in Korea, both professionally and personally.

(my Public School classroom in 2008)

Professionally I could continue to find good schools to work at and build up my reputation and salary, perhaps getting a University teaching gig. But then I understood that this could last for only so long. Without a Master's degree I would eventually be up against the competition of those who have earned such title. Combine this with having already moved four times in Korea and have gone from one school to the next, I felt tired with the feeling of having to do this over and over. Yet I felt the passion for teaching in me and knew that making a career out this would be not only possible but best for my life.

I came to the conclusion through research and discussion to go back home and pursue a Master's Degree in TESOL. I realized that I would like to try to serve the immigrants and students who need English back home, then to keep pumping it out over here. Like a flower bursting into bloom this idea of mine started from a seed and grew into a new life goal.

Therefore my decision to leave Korea stemmed off the personal and grew into the professional. Throughout the beginning of when I was going back-and-forth on whether to stay in Korea or not, I truly did have a hard time coming to the idea that I would be leaving this country. It's not just that I'm leaving a comfortable way of life, it's that I will be saying goodbye to friends and relationships that I have cared about over the years here.

More so than anything I have experienced or gained here in Korea is that I will miss my students. So the decision to leave is even harder knowing I won't be here to see them grow up. All I can wish for is that they remember me.

Certainly I want to write more about what I'm going to miss and look back on the fond memories I have, so keep an eye out for that. But I hope what I wrote today show's you how I came to the conclusion of leaving my 4 year life in Korea. For the most part I am excited about my new journey ahead and can't wait to see how what I have learned here shapes me in the year's to come. If you have any questions about all this please do ask.

All right, thank you for reading.

Have a Jolly Golly Christmas It's the ...

I'm currently on my Christmas vacation that will last till the New Year. To give the kids something special we (the English teachers) dressed up in a Santa outfit, played songs and handed out presents. The kids had a splendid time, except for a few that were displeased with their presents. Hey! It's not my fault kid! The presents were brought in by other students and randomly put into a bag.

To be honest, this year I'm not too much of a fan of this holiday. For one, I am reminded of my recent break up with Korean boyfriend #2 and the good times we had last year. You can see in these posts (here and here) that he visited me in San Francisco. As you can imagine, I am little beside myself this season just wondering why such a difference.

But life moves on and lesson plans need to get made, which is mostly what I am doing this Xmas vacation.

I think having this stable job and even just the promotion of going to 2nd grade and being a team leader, has me grounded. The work is keeping me busy and the good times had with the children are helping me feel the holiday spirit. But I'm hoping next year's holiday season will be a festive and warm one with someone to share it with.

Happy Holidays~

I'm Grateful To Have My Job

Today I read an article from The Grand Narrative, "Advice to Women Looking for Work: "Say you like to sing and dance." It reiterates the story of one young lady who has gone through so much in her life just to find herself not getting a job. This story highlights how students these days are filled with ambition and the desire to get a quality job, but come out to a world that doesn't match.

I want to talk about this aspect of Korean society because I think it might help those living here or who are considering it. As for me, I got a dose of this part of Korean life when dating two Korean men. So I also think it is important for the ladies to hear about how dating Korean men will likely mean you come to know this aspect of Korean society very closely. More importantly it can end up shaping your relationship and future with said person.

My first encounter with how the hiring process goes in Korea, came with my first Korean boyfriend. After I moved to Korea for the first time he followed suit from America after he finished his English studies. This was the summer time and we enjoyed a fruitful time together. But then came the Fall season and he prepared himself for interviews, by getting the typical Photoshopped resume picture and then trying on suits. Throughout it all I was supportive, but I didn't know just what he was really in for. After he got his job at a corporation (not a major one but was large enough) he went on field trips with the company which were meant for bonding and also seeing their offsite locations. During this time I didn't see him much, and communication was starting to run dry.

As he began his work at his new office things seemed to go downhill from there. He had to work late and attend after-work dinners. Our lifestyles began to clash. I got off work and was home by 5, had dinner and enjoyed my evening. The weekends were my time to get out and explore. Yet he worked late and started to view the weekend as his time to rest.

At one point the phone calls stopped coming and eventually we broke up. It wasn't a good break up because he found someone who he said, "...could have drinks with after work." It was at this time I realized how separate I was from this aspect of Korean society. Yet I moved on and found my second boyfriend.

Before I continue, I want to comment here a little on that experience. Definitely, for sure he changed after getting a real job and one that was quite typical of Korean work-life society. But our relationship had other issues and that is likely why we broke up. However, the point is that a Korean person doesn't simply just a get a job here and goes to work on a set schedule and la-di-da. They become a part of a team, tooth and nail, and it seems if you start to look like someone on the outside then things can go differently.

My next Korean boyfriend already had a job for some time and so was use to the work life. Plus his job was different. He worked for a small company selling and importing tiles. So he wasn't a slave at some office downtown.

Yet by the end of our time together he was certainly a tired man. Because he is the only employer for his company he handles everything. Clients call and treat him like an unintelligent slave and if they beckon his presence he usually goes there right away. The man lived a daily life of stress from client demands and also having to drive around the country. I was always supportive of him and let him have his time to rest. But in the scheme of things it started to eat away at our relationship.

The thing is, though, people like him work so hard because they know they need to for their future. I know this because we would have reoccurring conversations about our future together and the topic of "work" came up. His vision of the future included us sending our children to hagwons so they can be on a competitive edge with everyone. This would lead me to (in that foreigner arrogant way) talk about how I wish my children would grow up without cram schools so they can learn to be themselves, and that is what is most important in life...not test scores.

Even though he knew what I was talking about he put me back on point by telling me that this was Korea and in the end our children would have to fall in line with everyone else. I would always sit silently after these conversations and contemplate a sad future as he had envisioned.

Again, my break up with him was for personal reasons and thus shouldn't be blamed on Korean society. But I can't help but be honest and say that the troubles of Korean society were weaved into our relationship. It certainly depends on how strong people are attached to what is "right" and "wrong." But you can't escape it.

Thinking about it all I can't help but feel sorry for young Korean people who want to have beautiful rich lives for themselves in the future. But at the end of the day have to make due with what they can get and give over their bleeding heart just to not fall between the cracks. In that same sense I get a bit annoyed that, from the appearance of things, I can't see anyone or persons taking the pitchfork and rebelling. This brings me to something I'm No Picasso said:

When young Koreans start turning their noses up at jobs with bigger salaries, weightier company names and longer working hours, and turning instead to more average jobs that allow them more free time to focus on their own lives and their families, then that's when the ship will start to turn around. In his mind (and mine as well), realistically, you can't have both.

She continues to point out how some Korean people wonder why they need to work so hard in the first place. Korea is doing well economically these days, so it seems slowing things down might not hurt. I would mention this to my ex during one of our conversations, that Korea is up to speed with the rest of the world. He merely laughed and said it was impossible.

I don't really expect Korean people to suddenly change and mimic other nations in their happier work life. Yet I do sense that slowly, the structures that be today, will eventually melt and mold itself into something that functions in a way that serves Korean society for the better.

Personally, what it comes down to is this question. Do I want to marry a Korean man and live with him here forever? Possibly molding me into this troubling aspect of Korean society. That is where I agree with INP and her point of having a big weight on her shoulders. Definitely, as I became close to marrying my ex that weight became heavier and heavier. So it is for future Korean residents and current ones if you plan to stay here longer or involve yourself with a K-man...eventually all this will be yours to really deeply think about.

Finally, I want to say that after reading both those articles I couldn't help but feel grateful for my work status here in Korea. I have a good salary, a free house, pension, severance and health insurance. All was simply obtained because I'm a native speaker and have a few degrees. I suddenly became grateful for what I have, compared to what so many young Korean people are starving themselves to find. I truly do wish Korea transformed itself and let people have a break more often.

Reflections: First Few Months in Korea

If it weren't for my recent three month stay back home I would be celebrating my three year anniversary in Korea this month. Despite that I have to wait three more months to truly celebrate, I have already been doing the trips down memory lane in my head. 

When I look back on those first few months, I experienced here in Korea, it really feels like I was a different person. At that time I wasn't too sure of myself and mostly really nervous to be in this new place. Everyone says you experience a "honeymoon" phase your first three months here, but mine was squandered by my work experience. 

I quickly learned that calling in sick was a big no-no:

Today was a rotten day. It started with a sore throat and achy body and ended with tears. I didn't know if calling in sick works out here and found out that it doesn't. So my emotions ran high and a few words were exchanged like "I am weak when I sick..." and thus a meeting was held with my supervisor.

It seemed everything back then didn't make any sense. The work hours, the fact that the kids were "clients" and that the school was really a business. I didn't know that work life in Korea would be so tough on me mentally. I wasn't prepared for the cultural taboos of keeping face and staying "warm" in the face adversity. Really, when I look back I see a fragile person who made mistakes but also learned a lot. 

Quitting the hagwon was hard, mostly because I felt like I was failing at my new life in Korea. But in the end I can see that this choice was inevitable, as I was on a sinking ship anyways. 

From June 2008 to the end of that year, I was finding out what it meant to live and work in Korea. I craved a lot of familiar things from back home. In one post I adored my lamp, because it gave my house a warm feeling of home.

I think the secret to my survival so far in this place has been the use of a good lamp. Perhaps it could even be said that the secret to life is having a great and reliable lamp. Back in America I had a wonderful little lamp that I bought with my father at Kmart when I was in high school.

Homesickness still affects me from time-to-time, but that feeling of alienation in a strange country seems to have trickled away. Instead, daily life in Korea has become so ordinary that it seems the days come and guy quite quickly. Don't get me wrong though, one of my greatest pleasures living here is that everyday promises something different the moment I walk out the door.

Back in those first few months, anything beyond the familiar neighborhood I walked around everyday seemed like this huge black map just waiting to explore. All those questions about where and how I would get things done seem to have been answered over the years.

Yet, I do believe the first few months in South Korea are precious. Anyone who has tried this "teach-abroad" thing will have a unique time when they first get here. Even though I didn't do the usual partying and bar-hopping my first three months, I think I still had a good time exploring with my ex-boyfriend and friends I have met along the way.

I know for sure I could never replicate that time, but I am happy I am still in Korea and can reflect back on my memories with all my new found wisdom.

Remember this cat photo?

Eulogy to Love

BK and I broke up today.

For a while now we have been on the rocks. I don't wish to divulge the whole saga and private stuff.

We just were different people. Culturally and individually.

In the end I didn't fit into his scheme of things.

Our love for each other wasn't congruent either.

But if you are reading this and you happen to not be a robot, then you know what kind of heartbreak I am going through.

For sure I have learned something about myself, love, men and Korean culture.

So since this incident occurred my blogging may be infrequent for a while...sorry.

Cherry Blossoms in the Heart of Seoul

Watching spring bloom is a magical experience that can leave you feeling relaxed. Seeing the gray skies clear away to blue, the birds chirping in the trees and leaves covering what were once baron branches is certainly refreshing.

One cannot help but feel peace inside and humility towards life. Therefore it is important to get out there and experience the blossoming of spring in all it's glory.

Throughout South Korea you have several options to see the flower blossoms (especially cherry blossoms) and festivals that go along with them.

• Hangang Yeouido Spring Flower Festival
• Icheon Baeksa Sansuyu (Cornus Fruit) Blossom Festival
• Jeju Canola Blossom Festival

The most popular being that of the Yeouido festival near the Hangang river. Where other bloggers have already ventured to. Certainly Roboseyo would tell you that the best pictures can be taken at Kyunghee Uni.

BK and I both wanted to get out there and see one of these places in bloom before the petals blew off in the wind. On Sunday BK first had the idea to go to Yeouido but that quickly changed as he realized the place would be packed with Seoulites and others. So it was that we went elsewhere, somewhere I didn't think of.

Namsan Mountain Trail: Follow the breezeOut trek started by leaving the Donguk University subway station and heading out of exit 6. Above ground you come upon Jangchung park.Source

Wow! We just walked through this place but apparently there is more here than what meets the eye. But going through the park was pleasant of course, families were out on picnics, kids were playing sports and the paths were nicely trimmed.


Leaving the park area you cross a street and start your ascent up the mountain. To your left you can see a little league baseball playing field.


Up, Up we Go!
The trek starts off going uphill, and of course as you go along you get to see trees in blossom.


Do you see that dirt path to the left of the stairs? I decided to take this instead of put more pressure on my knees. If you don't know already Korea likes stairs. Just getting out of a subway station may mean you climb about 4-5 flights of stairs.

Here I go into the woods....

Hello!

Ah great back angle...

Exercise!

Almost there!

At the top you can see a lovely view of blossoms.

Turn around and you can find where to go.

We took the Namsan Tower path...but...2.8 km...is kinda....

Paved Path Leading to Namsan Tower:
Once at the top of the stairs you can choose which direction to head towards. We headed towards Namsan Tower, not with the real intention of actually going all the way. However, along the way we were graciously rescued from the day's heat with a lovely blossom canopy above our heads.

We just kept on walking and walking taking in the cool breeze and splendor of nature.

Archery Range:

I believe it was at the half-way point that ther was a wall set up where you could wright something on a post-it and place it on the board.

The further we went the more vista points we came upon.

But we got to one point and realized that getting to the Namsan Tower was just too far and so we headed downhill, not knowing where we would end up.

Native Korean mountain pigeon.

After our trek we were beat, so we got on a bus and ended up in Myeoungdong. Eventually we found one of those Can More joints and tried to relax. Except the pop music was a little too loud and the place was crowded. However, the ice cream was delightful.

One of the more special moments to be had during this journey was watching the blossom petals fly about as the wind blew through the trees. All in all, I would say no matter what part of Korea you are in right now, try your best to visit a blossom festival and enjoy this seasonal gift.

Ewha, Hongdae, Sincheon

So back on Sunday I spent the day around Ewha and the Hondae area with BK. I think what makes living here interesting is that you can visit different areas of Seoul and discover something new. Although, I would say anywhere in Korea pretty much looks the same with the usual gray buildings plastered with signs. But there are certain pockets here and there that stray away from the usual.

First Stop: Haircut in Ewha:
I have realized that I can take the #1 Line (Blue Line) and get into the Eastern part of Seoul much faster than if I take the light blue line #4. I think you get to know the ins-ands-outs of the subway system here after using so often. Before I use to be really intimidated by Line #1's complicated system, because there are rapid trains and also many destinations.
So getting to the Ewha area was a snap. Inside the Ewha subway station...
I had in mind what kind of haircut I would like to get. Since I have naturally curly hair I am usually somewhat nervous before I get a haircut. Especially here in Korea, due to that most people have straight hair.

Last year I went to Eunha BNC and so I decided why not go to the same place twice? The stylist's name is Ma Ree. She recognized me from last year and that was a good feeling. I showed her a picture of what I had in mind and explained to her how short and so on.

I would say she did a proper job and didn't butcher my hair. But I would give her negative marks for doing the job pretty quickly. Also she had her assistant blow dry my hair in the end, who did it so much that my hair turned out really frizzy. Ah well you take what you can get here.

Interior of the salon...the waiting room area..

After my haircut BK and I realized we were hungry and contemplated on where to go. On our way he found a store selling snacks for cheap and checked them out.

I told him that I knew of a Greek place in Hongdae and so he wanted to go there.

Hongdae: A Run Around
It wasn't too difficult getting to Hongdae since it was nearby, so we took a bus. When we got off the bus we realized we were on the wrong side of the street so we had to take an underground tunnel to get to the other side. Going through the tunnel you are bombarded by the lively and colorful graffiti on the wall. It was awesome to see, considering I have been wondering where the exploits of the youth culture were hidden.

It turns out that when I finally found that Greek place the sign was still there but the restaurant had changed. So now we were left to find something else. BK recalled that he had been in this area before and so wanted to find a place he heard of. However, he didn't really know where it was and his memory was from 5 years ago.

So when he finally found the area it wasn't there. We turned around, went down a few side streets and finally came upon a restaurant to go in for lunch.

Zen Hideaway Restaurant:
One word: posh.

Very posh! But enjoyable. I was a bit nervous sitting down as I knew from the looks of this place that it would be on the expensive side. But BK seemed pleased and so I relaxed. It was a Zen themed place anyways! How could I not calm down?

The interior was plush with hardwood table and comfy chairs. There was an outdoor seating area as well along with a pond.The menu was pretty extensive. Going from pasta dishes, pizza to Thai plates. We ordered and shortly there after came a nice bread and olive oil appetizer.


BK ordered a Sangrila and its taste was sweet and tangy all at once. I think Roboseyo has been searching for the best Sangrila in Seoul so I would suggest to him to go here and try it out.
My choice was the grilled chicken salad, which wasn't anything cheap so we were expecting it to be good. And it was pretty good with fresh ingredients and tangy fruity salad dressing. None of that mayonnaise stuff on the salad thing here.
BK ordered a spicy Thai noodle and shrimp dish. Sorry the picture came out blurry. I tried some and the taste was quite unique in a good way. Spicy but not overwhelming with some tangyness to it.Lunch was quite relaxing and we realized that next time we would like to try the outdoor seating.

Where to next? I suggested a few weeks back that I wanted to go see Slumdog Millionaire to BK, but it hadn't come out yet. Before meeting up this day he checked the show times online and suggested we should go see it. So that is what we did and to do so we headed over to Sincheon.

Sincheon: Meandering and Movie
However we were a bit too early and had an hour or so to kill before the movie started. First we went around the theatre area and checked out the arcade. BK played a testing game that tests your strength. However I don't think he did very well.
We played a few more games and I got this picture of the snack bar's interior.
Afterwards we rested at Starbucks. BK and I both have iPod touches but his is the new one. Mine for some reason won't connect to the wireless easily here, but his does. So he mused about this in front of me.

It was time to go to the movie and so we left and enjoyed a really great film.

So I will conclude by saying that I highly recommend Slumdog Millionaire along with checking out the Hongdae area.