How do you deal with work related stress? I for one have had days where I deal with it in a very nonconstructive way and I end up making myself look bad.
Since my new coteacher is a no nonsense kind of lady, who for example gets upset when I do anything not in line with the Korean way. For example: She wonders why I ask her "Why should I sign this?" when she puts a document in front of me and just says, "This is for the school, sign this." It is my impression that the Korean way is to just sign it and don't ask why. Since the document is in Korean and she gives no verbal explanation I usually always ask what it is it for. Turns out this ticks her off.
Needless to say things get frustrating at work when little nuances like that build up. This time around I want to find ways to release my stress and understand my anger to prevent it from blowing up.
I decided that I would make a list of the things I can't get mad about here at work. The reason for the title is because if I do get mad about them then I usually end up with a hot temper and the inability to see clearly. I figured if I were to write a list I could study these things and figure out ways to overcome them peacefully.
In addition, I also added a list of things
to appreciate, so to have a certain kind of positive perspective on it all.
I just finished writing the lists and will post them below. Some of the things will be obvious pet peeves while others are occurrences I need to work on.
Here we go:
Things I Can’t Get Mad About:
1. Being an English Puppet: Not having control of the class and just saying the expressions. Doing whatever they tell me to do no matter my opinion or experience.
2. Being told my prepared materials are not low level enough.
3. Being treated like I am a little girl.
4. People constantly asking me if I can eat Korean food even though they know I have lived here nearly 2 years. People bugging me about my food selection choices at lunch time.
5. Not having my opinion fully understood or listened to.
6. Working hard but having all my faults be scrutinized and not balanced out towards all the good I do.
7. Ms. Y not communicating at all to me about the classes we teach. Her getting upset when I make a mistake in class because she didn’t tell me about their level or experience. Ms. Y ignoring my presence.
8. Not being told ahead of time of event changes or occurrences. Not being told about anything going on in school and the English department.
9. Being told to teach in “Fun and Active” way by the Principal but realizing it’s incredibly difficult with such coteachers who are not “fun and active” themselves.
10. Caring too much about the job.
11. Communication being difficult. I want to express my ideas but know that they will get shot down. I want to express my opinions about certain matters but know that they will not be heard.
12. Having to deal with everything on our own since there is a lack in consulting between the Korean co teacher and native teacher.
13. Knowing the children are bored in class but feeling powerless to change that.
14. Knowing that there are better and more effective ways of teaching English to Korean children but having my ideas rejected and not even tried out.
Things to appreciate:
1. I haven’t been fired for being a sensitive over reactive person.
2. I get paid to be an English puppet.
3. Within the limits I can find ways to have fun with the children.
4. Having fun with the children.
5. Having hope.
6. My house is free.
7. I have health insurance.
8. Whenever I happen to be able to teach most of the class or help more.
9. Random days off or being randomly let home early.
10. Knowing the students learn something new in English and because I helped them.
11. Anytime my co teachers and I communicate well.
I really wish I had more positive ones up there. I wanted to say something about success in my relationships with my colleagues but didn't know how to word it.
Looking back on the list I realize not all of them make me get so hot and bothered. I suppose the real issues lie in my personal feelings about everything and whether or not I am adult enough to handle it.
What do you do to handle work related stress? Thanks!