Goodbye Korea! Thank you

I'm into my final hours here in Korea and yes I'm excited to go and also sad at the same time. It's been a wonderful ride and I am grateful for it all.

I think I have said everything I could about this transition and finally just want to say thank you to my readers and supporters. I know for sure my time in Korea would have been harder if I didn't have this blog and community.

For all future updates on my life and adventures head over to the American-Joy blog. :)

My way of saying goodbye with the Girl Scouts singing "Taps":

See you on the other side!

The Last Night in Korea

Today I went to my school to pay my housing bills and as I waited for my supervisor in the office the Vice President started to talk to me. No worries, she is a sweet older woman who has complimented me in the past. She wanted to know when I was leaving, and when I told her, "tomorrow" she was astonished. She even asked if that was next week's tomorrow. She knew I had been in Korea five years and asked me if I had a boyfriend or was married. All questions that receive a "no" answer. But I reassured her I was fine and was heading back home to be a student to learn more about teaching.

We did hug goodbye.

I'm sitting here with three bags packed to the brim and can't believe it's my last night in Korea. Five years ago I came here with wide eyes and an open heart. I experienced so much, went through so many tribulations and made amazing memories. Now it's ending minute by minute and the hardest part is knowing I will be far away from it all.

I bought a mini pack of tissues today because I have a feeling once I settle in on the plane and wait for tack off, the tears might start streaming. Even though I am going through all this alone I know I'm strong enough to get to the other side. And I'm not entirely alone with family and friends supporting me. I also have Tom!

I really can't say much more. Everything I experienced here from start to finish has impacted me so deeply. So I'm going to leave you with this video I made before I left for Korea. You can see all the innocence, naivety and bravery in myself. It's kind of the same how I feel now facing a new life in America.

Thank you.

If these shoes could talk...

Those are a pair of shoes that I have worn every since I came to Korea. They have been my work shoes, because you change your shoes when you go to work here. I always said to myself I would get a different pair but I never bothered. They have seen me through 1 hagwon, 2 public schools and this last one. These shoes have taken me through a lot of drama and hard times, but also through fun experiences as well. I'm not going to take them back with me, so I suppose they can live here in Korea.

I just finished my last classes and I feel good. I thought maybe I would feel really sad, but I'm all together okay. (I'm thinking it will all hit me when I strap in for my plane ride). The students seem surprised and pleased with the gift card and nice candy I gave them. They really enjoyed the video and were amazed I made it. I left them the title of the video so they can search for it, and also gave out my email.

I know I will miss these students. The hardest thing is not going to be here to see them grow up, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The following are pictures of student homework. For their last assignment I had them write a sentence about their favorite subject they learned in Math, then draw a picture of their favorite experience. Some of the results were really amusing and I liked the fact that they were varied. It showed I gave them a range of experiences. It was also fun to see their hand drawn renditions of me...so take a look!

I'll start with ones that are renditions of myself. Sorry for the cropping on this one but I'm in the bottom left. I've got those wild eyed teacher eyes.

Here I am depicted in threes for some reason. For the most part I'm distinguishable because of my curly hair, which was rendered with quite a lot of curliness. As for what the kid is depicting it was a weighing demonstration I did with them. I had a spring scale where you attach something to the hook at the bottom and it pulls down to show how many grams, many of them got a kick out of this.

I like the nose I was given in this one:

 A lot of them liked the "potion" activity which was done last week. It was an activity I devised for measuring using milliliters. However, I couldn't find a water dropper for the life of me in my area and so just poured tiny amounts. I relabeled colorful sports drink bottles as, "Fire potion", "Electric potion" and so on. They first filled out a worksheet then came up to me to get their "potion."

Here a student enjoyed the "animal cubes" project we did earlier in the semester:

Another one for the weight unit, here I had students construct a "gallon man" craft, which a lot of them liked.

Another one that enjoyed the measuring unit. She is depicting a scenario that actually happened. I made a large inch ruler by laminating an example. Then I walked around and measured the student's heads as they guessed the size. Yep, that was a big hit too!

I'm quite impressed with this kids memory of sorting black and white baduk beads to represent area. Something learned back in the Spring semester. It's also a really accurate rendition of the activity.

This last one hear I like because it's basically a drawing of this kids desk when they are in my class. Open book, eraser, pencil and pencil case all shown in good detail.

When I looked through this homework assignment I was filled with a sense of accomplishment. I couldn't help but think that I did get through to these kids and left them with happy memories.

I did receive a present from one of the homeroom teachers that she gave to me privately. I could really tell she acknowledged the hard work I put in and was sad to see me go. I reassured her I enjoyed teaching at the school and will miss it very much.

So this was my last day of work here in Korea. Just about a week left and I'll be off on my new adventure. Thank you kids!

Cards of Good Luck

In addition to the video I made for my students I am planning to give each one a personalized card with a treat. In each card is a personal written note that touches on my experience with them and wishes for their future. I've also stepped it up a notch by glueing in a small picture of myself into the card. I figured a percentage will throw it out, but there might be a bunch that hold on to it.

For the girls I got them a card with a red heart and yellow frame on it. Inside it says, "I love you" around it so I figured the girls won't freak out as much, as say the boys would.

The boys get the "Good luck" card with a four leaf-clover image and a present box on the inside flap.

I still have to glue in my picture to the rest of the cards before I'm finished. I was hoping to make a little candy gift for them, but things were getting too expensive. I got the cards off of Gmarket (Korea's Amazon.com). Each card was about .50 cents and there are 134 students, so you can do the math. Plus I got them nice candy, instead of the cheap kind. So I kind of calculated all the presents I have given them over the past two years and figured they had gotten enough.

This is the first time I have ever made goodbye presents for students, but since this is a "real" goodbye I wanted to make it special. Besides I have been teaching these kids for the past two years. I think it is also a good idea to give your graduating students a present. But I know most teacher's don't bother because they might feel it doesn't matter. In this case, I felt it really mattered and hope it does make a difference.

I guess I will find out on the last days of class. All I know is that if I were a little kid in one of the many English classes I had here and got a little present from a teacher, I would feel good. :)

A Goodbye Video to my Students

As part of a package of things I will be giving to my students to say goodbye to them, I made this video. It's a collection of photos and videos from our various field trips over the past two years. There was a lot I could put in but I narrowed it down to the following that you will see. I'm not looking forward to my last class time with the kids, because they really gave me the strength and inspiration to be a teacher. But I hope this video and my other gifts will leave a lasting memory in their hearts.

Enjoy ~

When a student leaves

It came without notice today, one of our students is leaving the school. What makes this more special than other times is that this students was let's say a star. But not in a great and brilliant shining way, more like he was the constant trouble maker. Indeed, last year he would use his physical self to hurt other students without much regret. This year he used words and threats more, which I guess was an improvement. But despite him being a bully, rude and just hard to manage I actually became fond of this kid. I think what happened was finding a way to manage him in class and also be his friend at the same time. Also when he was behaving well and giving constructive output in the class I enjoyed his participation.

So I was a bit sad getting the news today, which was delivered in a kind of awkward way. His father entered my room and asked me where were his books and told me about it. He thanked me for teaching him too. When he left I stood in my classroom a bit flustered knowing that the boy would be leaving and I didn't get to say goodbye. So I went and found him in his after-school class. I asked him, "I heard you are leaving our school?" He said yes and it's because his father is changing jobs and moving. I don't know what the truth is but I gave him a hug and said I will miss him, and goodbye. He seemed a little confused but he's just a boy anyways. He's the kind of student that needs a mentor in his life or adult figure who understands him and at the same time councils him on making right decisions.

It all makes me realize what can happen to you when you teach young students for an extended period of time. A part of your heart opens up to them and at some point they move on. I guess that's that.

**He just came in here to say goodbye. He looked a bit sad too. Oh man...the tears are behind my eyes. Well I tried my best for the boy.

Bye Bye America Again

I'm up way too early here in my hotel near the SFO airport. Maybe I'm excited to go back to Korea or ready to get there, rest and prepare for the first day back to work.

I had a good time here in America and am so grateful to spend time with nearly all of my family. When I get the chance I will definitely continue to post the rest of my trip from Florida and D.C.

I'm not sure when I'm going to come out here again, as I need to consider saving money and also I still want to see other parts of the world.

I didn't really feel reverse culture shock while out here, but instead just tried to soak up the American life while I could. I found people are really into politics these days and very divided on their opinions. Also, I just enjoyed how nice people were and not sure if it was always like that.

Being here and seeing my family has put a seed in mind whether or not I should continue life in Korea or seriously consider being closer to the people I love. I just don't want to think about how hard it will be to start a life back here in America.

Anyways, it was a good trip and definitely allowed me to see some great sights. I also feel more courage and confidence starting back at work, and know I can only do what is possible when I get there.

Adios!

Before I Go

Yesterday, was my first Monday with no work. I soon realized what having no schedule means, which is that you end up with vasts amounts of time. I got out and went to my old neighborhood to visit Tom and run a few errands.

I saw Tom enjoying my friend's rubber glove. But I was pleased to see Tom getting along with his brother (previously named Hamster) now called Kaiju. 

I didn't visit Tom today and might not make it tomorrow, so I guess yesterday's visit was my last goodbye till I see him in February.  Grow strong my little Tom!

After visiting I went in to the local area and picked up some stickers and toys for my friend's family. Then I got a bite to eat and went on back to my friends house to rest. Several hours later I was back out for dinner with my girlfriends. It was time to say goodbye, till my return. We enjoyed a Japanese noodle dinner and cupcakes afterward.

 It seems like a pattern in my life where either I meet great friends and then they move or I have to. But we agreed to meet in Jongno, Seoul next year.

 Today wasn't that active and it consisted of helping my friend take her cat (not related to mine) to the Vet and then going to the bank to get some American cash. 

Tomorrow I leave for America around 6:45 pm. I want to let you all know that I will keep on blogging about Korea, America and anything as time passes. You can look forward to some great posts about my boyfriend's first visit to America around Christmas and New Year's time. Korea is getting colder so I hope all my K-buddies out there have their ondols working and footsies kept warm. 

:)

Faster at the End

This highly scientific video demonstrates two coins going down a funnel. I would like to point out that my life right now feels like one of those coins as they get to the very end. Notice how it goes faster and faster and then just plunks into the dark hole. Well, when you are finishing a job, getting ready to move and are very close to the end date, life can feel that way.

I've got pretty much everything packed, except for dishes and cleaning supplies. I was going to put my stuff in storage but JH talked about it with one of his close friends and they agreed to keep my stuff at their house. How nice of them! I offered to pay them a monthly sum, but was told they'll take a nice dinner, instead. So JH has been picking up boxes and slowly moving them over there. 

I am a bit worried about Tom as on Saturday he will make the switch to my friend's house where he will stay till my return. His brother is there so maybe he will be okay, and I know this person takes good care of hers. I suppose I am just sad to not have my little warm fur ball with me as I move along. Just hoping when I pick him up later that it won't be too traumatic for him.

Work is thankfully coming to an end at this school. I feel so happy inside that I don't have to come here anymore and sit in this small office. I wish I could blurt this out loud so they can see why I am so happy, but I restrain myself. Tonight is my goodbye dinner with the Principals and English staff. But my ex-coteacher (the very old one) from last year will be there. Sigh~ I really don't want to have to talk to her and pretend to give a sh*t. But I also don't want to leave looking bitter. Guess I'll just suffer through one dinner and be on my way. I got everyone thank you cards and a little gift (except no gift for old lady and new foreign teacher). 

As for my students some of the 6th grade classes have responded with cards and little notes and gifts. It has been really touching and makes all the crap I endured at this school melt away. I wish them the best and hope I have influenced their lives in some way or another.

Not much else to report on, just biding my time till tomorrow when I can say "Goodbye!" to this school and all the people here.

Mom's Tacos

My last day in Florida was met with some shopping and a good meal at my Mom's house. Shopping in America, especially at a grocery store or large-box store kind of gets me down. Mostly because I wish I could just take the whole thing back with me to Korea. To be honest, Korea has a lot of what America has so it's not like I am out in the middle of nowhere.

I met up with my mom at her apartment for her special Taco dinner. This is one of those nostalgic family meals that you grew up eating. My mom makes the taco filling from homemade refried pinto beans. Accompanying the tacos are usually a fresh mix of toppings, such as diced tomatoes, chopped lettuce and peppers and freshly grated cheese. Although we didn't have it this time usually we had the tacos with pita bread instead of tortillas.

I showed up early and as we waited for my sister and her family to arrive we walked around the apartment grounds walking her dog.

Gotta love that Florida lawn.

One thing folks in Florida have always feared are the alligators. I recall seeing them in the canal behind my house. 

We went back to the apartment and shortly my sister and her family arrived. The following is a picture of a rocking chair (I believe my father or Grandfather built) for me. It has my name on it. I enjoyed seeing my nephew fit into it.

Here is a picture of the beans...

 

The spread~

That is the last photo from my Florida trip. I enjoyed the meal with my mom and family. After my sister and her family left I took in a solitude moment with my mom. I said my final goodbye and it was truly difficult. It had been such a long time since we last saw each other and this visit went by fast. Yet I will try to get back out there the next chance I get. As I drove back to my sister's house there was a bold lighting storm in the distance, which felt proper for the occasion. 

Although my Florida visit was short and fast I made many memorable moments to keep myself afloat out here in Korea.  Indeed, the warmth and good feelings passed to me by my family makes me feel less bitter towards Korea. I suppose you could kind of say it was a little bit of like a healing experience, but I don't want to get all new-agey on you guys. haha

Well look for my next posts where I will highlight the good times I had in the foothills of California.

Last Night in Sanbon

Well I made it folks for this is my last night here in Sanbon South Korea. And it's about darn time really!

Today was filled with kids coming to me giving me presents and saying goodbye. Some begging me to not go.

I think I touched the hearts of most of the girl students since they seemed to come by the office most often.

It's heartbreaking but I know that eventually one of us would of moved on, either they would go to middle school or I would leave the school.

There wasn't a big goodbye party for me. Instead a gathering in a conference room where the Principal said something and I was given a small sum of money. Then I gave a little speech saying how I enjoyed my time at the school and will miss the children dearly. It wasn't translated and so I spoke slowly in hopes they would understand. I said thank you and bowed, then everyone clapped and returned the gesture. The meeting commenced and we went our separate ways.

All in all, it feels really good to complete one year at a school. I stuck it out through thick and thin and in the end can now feel accomplished.

I now have one month that is mine to look forward to where I will be living in Seoul and do some traveling to Japan for my new visa.

Thanks to everyone and your kind and thoughtful comments that helped me through the dark times and kept me excited during the brighter days.

Things End Things Begin

Yesterday I went on a fun roller coaster ride as I got an offer for a private public school in Nowon but after some thinking decided to stick with Yongin.

I was so stressed out the past few days having made my choice with Yongin and then wondering if I should check out another school. It was tough falling asleep last night as my body was all shook up from the stress.

Not to worry, though, I slept well afterwards and had a fun dream too.

Now I am excited for the next months to come. I will have November off as I will be in between contracts. JH and I are going to go put a deposit on a goshiwon this weekend up in Seoul. Then I guess it is packing time.

I am starting to wonder what I will do with my free November. Leaving my current school I am coming into a lot of money. What with pension, severance, deposit return and a flight ticket sum I am going to be looking at a fatter bank account. If you know me then you would know that I don't usually spend money on myself. I do plan to send a chunk to America to pay off some debt that I would like to get out of the way. As for the rest I will probably save it for my next vacation and maybe buy some shiny new toy. Who knows, right?

Also I am pondering about things I would like to see or do while I am free. Maybe take the KTX to another part of Korea and explore it for a few days. I don't know, but if any of you want to get together lemme know for I will be available to travel.

It's come down to the part where my kids at school know I am leaving. They seem sad and express that they don't want me to leave. But I am sure they understand the cycle. I bought a little notebook for the new teacher and wrote in it my tips and instructions for his new job. I hope it comes useful to him. Otherwise he will have a free notebook.

All right well time to start packing up and getting ready to live in a goshiwon (very small space).

Just a Short One

A short message here to say that I am still thinking about my podcast. I want to interview an expat and I had someone lined up but they declined the interview. It just wasn't their cup of tea. ;)

Time is of course going by and everyday I feel I am getting closer to my next job. I am starting to get a little too engulfed in thinking about what my next house will be like. Since I am pushing for a good one I keep imagining things like space and a big window that looks out onto some mountains or a city.

But it seems there are some pains to this leaving a school process, and that is the kids. Just today my little 4th graders were hurrying home and waved goodbye to me. I could feel my heart ripping apart that in a month and a half they will have a new teacher to start over with. But they are kids and their minds will grow and forget about me.

The sun is hiding quicker behind the skyline as the days ease into Fall. I am trying to figure out when I should take out my long sleeve shirts but I figured I will do it when the days stay cooler than 75 degrees F.

All this community building stuff has me nervous. I feel like I am the only "woman voice" in the group and also the one that doesn't really think along party lines. I tend to become idealist and creative when working in a group. Well it is fun to be a part of something even if it is run by mostly guys. Something in me wants to start a Woman's group here in Korea but it just sounds too cliche.

Well that's the news from this side of the globe...till next time.

Jitters

It's the night before going back to work, from which seems like a long vacation. I last went to school back in June 24th, so it has been a whole month now.

Since then I have had time to reflect on my life here in Korea and my position as an English teacher. I have also spent time wondering and trying to figure out who it was that attended that meeting and why they concluded not to keep me for a second year. But as much as I try to wrap my brain around it I get no where. So I have decided to just let it go. Holding a grudge or trying desperately to figure it out will not get me far. I basically have decided that it was probably the Principal's decision and everyone else went along with it.

My coteacher has already given one recruiter a good recommendation, so I know that I am not screwed.

Therefore, I have just two more months left at this school. This has been my mantra lately. When I look at the bugs crawling around my bathroom wall I just think to myself, "two months" and you don't have to worry about them anymore. When I hear the beeping and restaurant music outside I just think, "two months" and something else will replace it.

And it also comes down to the kids. Who, unless my coteacher called their houses and told them, don't know I am leaving in two months. This is going to be the most heartbreaking. I have grown to love and get to know practically all 360 or so kids at my school. The ones I spend the most time with I know will break my heart when I see their reaction.

When I think about the kids I can't help but feel sorry for them. For it is these youngsters that have had to put up with going to a school that gets little funding. Their soccer field is merely a long patch of dirt. The Principal spent a good sum of money upgrading his office, while they sat freezing in the classroom during the winter. The kids are the ones, I feel, who are benefiting the least from a school environment that doesn't really care about them. It is not that I want to go on a crusade and fix Korea. Rather I don't want to add to these kids troubles. But now I am doing that, I feel, by leaving them. Yet, they are kids and they will forget about me in time.

Through all this I try to tell myself to be positive and optimistic. The school has already made their decision and what has been done is done. I want to go back in there and just be myself and teach for the kids. Not to please the coteacher or Principal, but to give the kids a fun time.

12hrs Later

I am back at my home in Sanbon. The plane ride went all right and my traveling companion happened to be a Japanese woman who studied English in San Francisco. So she had an exciting time talking to me about her travels in California.

Coming back to Korea felt a little bit like my first day in Korea way back when I first got here. Except that I know everything a little more now.

Coming home was interesting. JH had spent his time without me cleaning my house and arranging everything very neatly. I have never dated anyone who likes to clean or arrange things in a neat manner. But that is a plus in my book!

Despite this warm welcoming I had a hard time sleeping last night due to having to get back into accepting that my house is crap. I had slept on a really soft and squishy bed for the past two weeks so coming back to my hard ass one here in Korea was a little bit of a shocker. Also it seems there is a hole in my wall or ceiling some where that is letting in the other tenant's cigarette smoke. So I spent a good deal of time last night taping over the cracks in the door and a vent on the ceiling.

Ah well, just two more months till I move on to the next place where ever that will be. Because of the H1N1 scare I don't have to go work till next Monday so that gives me plenty of time to beat off jet lag and get back into my life here in Korea.

I have some photos from the last few days spent in Cali before I came back so I will put those up when the time comes.

:)

Roh's Local Memorial

I have mentioned how some people set up a make-shift memorial for ex-president Roh in my area. Well since then it has grown to quite an establishment. It is located in the center of my town so you really can't miss it on your way to places like Emart.

There is usually a line where people wait to give their respects. A part of me wishes I could feel what they feel and mourn with them. But I can't help but feel disconnected. However I do feel sorry for the way he died and hope Koreans can handle this as part of their history.

Goodbye April

I would like to say farewell to April 2009. You served up some great spring-ness with warmer air and greener scenery. But you also made a change in my life which hasn't been fun.

So long April, hello May I wonder what will happen. Before this month ends it seems others are in the contemplative mood. Over at Scribblings of the Metropolitician there was a post about what it is like to date Korean woman. I guess he had a lot to say because it was fairly detailed. As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if I wrote up something similar to have dated a Korean man.

But then I realized it would end up being too revealing and personal. Besides I didn't really jump into the dating market here and meet several Korean men to have a good sample to talk about.

All I have to say is that yes, you will encounter cultural differences. As a fairly liberal and open minded person myself I was able to go outside my box and accept the cultural differences. But as we all know my Korean boyfriend wasn't able to do that. Really what I am saying here folks is that the cultural differences will come with the relationship like a string to a kite. It's part of the package.

But knowing that challenge I haven't given up on finding love with another Korean. Just now I have more understanding and foresight.

Anyways...goodbye April 2009....goodbye.

Howl on Kisha

Kisha the family howling dog of dogs has passed on to doggy heaven. Wish I could be there, but will remember you always.

This and That

I managed to make it so that I can play a jazz station out of the Bay Area on my home stereo using some sort of bluetooth technology. So lately I have been enjoying my time listening to jazz. Of course I catch the shows that they are playing at like 3am over there.

It seems like when you live somewhere that has 4 seasons you desperately wait for the next one to come around. As for spring I have been wondering when it will be T-shirt weather and greenness all around me.

On the way home I check the foliage for changes, but just yellow flowers these days.

Today I helped Lilly (Lunalil) pack for her move to America. I had a good time of course and we got lunch at a galbi place.

(No noodles Mom!) That purple stuff is rice...they put black rice in the mix.

As a treat for helping her with packing I got her Toaster Oven for free. I haven't set up yet so no picture, but it's not like you have never seen a toaster oven before?

Coming home the sun was shining through the window so I set up some of those crystals I got from last week. Ooooo sparkly!~


Jazz tunes are still jiving over here ... chilling this Saturday afternoon.