Stupidity

I now admit my stupidity for planning so much. Sure the result of having it all ready to go for every class is a great pleasure, but the work that goes into is not.

Not only have I been planning so much but worrying and stressing out as well. I seem to worry like it is a bad addictive habit and thus causes me to stress out.

What am I worrying about?
I worry that I could become a bad teacher/worker. In my other jobs I tended to slack off a lot and ended up disappointing my superiors. I always felt terrible for this and so I think in this job I am trying to do my best.

But now that I am doing all I can and working so hard, it seems my reward is that I am tired and stressed out.

So I need to let go. I know that now I can get by without planning everything in advance and can show up about an hour early each day and just plan for the day.

However:
The intensive period schedule came out and I will be teaching 10 classes everyday. That does not please me and I am not looking forward to it. So all my planning for next month will pay off I think because I won't have time to prepare easily.

But after the intensive period...I am going to switch to just taking it easy.

~Waking up at 2am and stressing about work, is well not a favorite past time of mine.